When I was little I had dreams of making an author.
I had something in my heart and I knew I should always write.
I have something to share.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjNZf878ISQ&index=32&list=RDMMKoyNlVQbUPc&ytbChannel=CastingCrownsVEVO
And my thoughts are in this song.
Because what we face in our daily lives, and what is truth and what is fear.
And what is my fear?
What is normal human fear and what is fearing God?
And do we confuse them together?
I had fear of leaving home?
What happens if I just absoloutly fail my course?
what if my living thing just got to hard and I had to leave?
what happens if I couldn't pay my rent?
My friends these are normal human fears, but what do we do if we just keep them as rules over us?
I had friend, that told me to have fun while studying?
How come now, after more than half way through I'm suddenly enjoying my course?
The thing was, I like competition, and I was wanting to be at the top, but then that took over, so I came to realization, that if I sat back and really enjoyed making my products then I'm already succeeding.
Some of you might know that I have a disability, not many people can pick it up, and thats good that is how God made me, and I am happy with how I am.
It's taken a long time for me to get to that stage.
I always had to blame someone, I couldn't take responsibility for myself, in fact I completely gave up on maths, and I took into the kitchen because that is where I am in my happiness part.
I'm dead to my disability, yes it's part of me everyday, but I'm free in God.
When you're in chains you can't be free.
My disability was a medical accident, if it all went to plan I wouldn't be the person I would be, but God has other plans, and his plans always work.
And sometimes, you need to tell that heart to beat again, sometimes it's hard to get back up off the floor, and listen to the still quiet voice of God.
Why is there pain?
Is it because we deserve it?
I don't believe so, but it's simply because of the fallen world, and I do believe, that if Adam and Eve didn't sin, well the next person would have.
You might have thought, well if God placed me in that garden, I'd be strong, I wouldn't do what they did.
My friend you miss the point, and the point is, the snake planted a seed, and that was doubt.
It wasn't necessary the choice between good and evil, though that did have a bit to do with it, it was.
''Did, God really tell you.''' and we always have those things in life.
When we had Israeli people staying in our place, we had spies, and I always wanted to know what they did.
''Your secret is safe with me.'' sort of things.
Friends who know me, know necessary know that's not always true.
But they couldn't tell me what they did in the secret services.
Why?
Because, they are loyal to their country, and work.
They knew the risks involved in going behind enemy lines.
My friends, when we pick ourselves up, our task isn't always over, it's just began.
No matter if you think your job is small and meaningless, or you work in a big corporate job. There's no ladder to climb in God's plan.
So if you're in the middle of facing fear, or if you simply know, you have to go to God with it.
Well that's me, for today.
Chloe
