come to the fountain.

I was at work today, I am surrounded by really helpful people.
Everyone helps each other out, I Love it.

We got talking about washing, and the habits, I am in.
You know the clothes, that aren't dirty, but you don't want to put them away, well I asked my friend if she does this, and she does.
We rewash them.

This got me thinking about the cycles that we face, some of us, have "washing'' to sort out.
So I got home from work, and I stopped myself, doing this habit.
Then I went out and visited my friends horses and I loved it.

Sometimes we think we need to have it all together, before we come to Christ, or our friends, or loved ones, and are too afraid to show the cracks. So we put on all sorts of masks and hats, to wear, because you believe that it works.

It does for a while, but as you wear these ''outfits'' you get so accustomed, to it, that you can't really go with out.
You might have one, mask, one fancy mask to wear on ''good occasions'' and you just think it's fine to go about doing this.

What if you get tired from wearing it?
 What if, the masks are addiction?
what if, they are secrets, because you believe, that you won't survive if you do this?

I am not blaming you, I have my masks, but as I get older, I've hoped for things, things and haven't got them.
I watched while my friends get them.

For Christians, you get told '' you just need more faith, you need this, you need that?

What if it's a bad day?  we can all have bad days.
It' normal part of life, but it's when we see a pattern of bad days, that, spiral us down ward.
Or circumstances.
I've had some of those, quite an unhealthy doseage, but we all get them , because we are human beings, it's to be expected. please don't struggle alone if you're just plain tired of life.

There are no quick fixes, steps, to not fail at life.
You haven't failed, you're not a failure, your a winner.
You might think you don't know me, or what I've gone through.
that is true I don't.
But I do know that, the masks, the ''outfits'' that we wear, gradually wear thin and out, and we can not trust in them.
They don't work.

We all face giants in our lives, for me, it was trusting myself, after a pretty server breakdown.
Some days, I think back to what set it off, my parents, were wondering, where, the wheels came off.

I'm still on my high, and won't probably ''come down'' for a while.
I might never come down.
I am totally fine now, I've made some life choices, to make me return to normal.
We all face unbelief in our lives, just how far we go, till it's dangerous. thinking that we're on a bungee cord, and we can just bounce back, to normal.
I wasn't on that bungee cord, I was in it, with me, on the other end, having my ankles around this breakdown.

The stigma, around it, is still there.
In my life, I've come to the conclusion, that you can't ''fake it to you make it'' that won't work.
So my friends, come to your fountain, no matter what it is.
Come to the grittiness, that life is hard, it's what we do that either helps our hinder ourselves.

Please don't go down any dangerous paths, that you regret later in life.
That's me for today.
Chloe

Calling hope back into your life.

Hi there.
How's it all going?
Last night, at church, the pastor, spoke, about calling hope into your life.
A little while, ago, my friend gave me a Christmas decoration it is red, steal.
"hope'' so I have it hanging up in my room and I sleep under it every night.
We all need hope in our lives, without hope, we would be utterly be in hopeless situations. where we have no way out.

Even in my elevated high state still after my breakdown, it's been 2 months now. I asked my friend, if I'll ever come down, I don't think I'll have my down stage.
and that is good.

I did burn everything that, had ties to my past, situation, and I'm feeling, so much freer.  Sometimes in life we need to ''burn our ships'' and start new paths, and that new path is exciting.

We hold onto our dead valley bones for along time, while they are dead, we strive to keep them alive.

We often think we might need them, to fall back on as a secure safety blanket.
We might have one, we might have several of these blankets, because we don't like throwing things out, so we keep them.
We are always changing, but Jesus never does.

He is the constant person that will be there right through our lives.
We all need hope into our lives, no matter if you agree or disagree, we all need something stable in our lives.
And that is hope.

No matter, what your doing, right now, be it good or bad, in the valleys of  everything that you're facing, and you're wondering where the light has gone, or the good times have gone. No matter what you're doing, right now.
Call hope back into your life.

To give you a picture,  we have  men building a fantastic rock wall stabilizing, the wall making way for a fantastic rock wall.
There's a life line, there just in case  they need it.
Now your '' life line'' might just be family or friends,  or Jesus.
I want to talk about mental awareness, and I lost a friend, to suicide  I miss her very much. but when I had my break down, the Lord, gave me one  chance to see her in heaven.

I was praying and praying I'd see Rose again, and I saw her.
I knew, that even though she had gone too soon, I knew from then on, to tell people who have lost loved ones, that people who go too soon, who believe in God, yeah they are up there.

My spirit, left my body, and instantly, we recognized,  each other.
No matter what sort of live you're living, it's never to late, to call out to hope. It will always answer you, and it will come running.
It will be a life line, to save you from the brink of what seems hopeless situations, it  will be your answer.

I just loved yesterday,  I spent it with my friend Mel, and her family, these people, are true gems. They are so strong, in their faith, that everything works, out for good. you might not see it now, you might be so blinded by what you're going through, you probably can't even see it.
but, you'll find hope, in your situation.
We do need to cry, we need to let it all out, we need, to need to show our hurt sometimes. it's human.
We do need to speak up, if things aren't right, or good in our lives.
If we see patterns, in our lives, that aren't good, that is why we need to, deal with them, and see the right people, so that we can live a life of freedom.
What does that look like to me?
Be careful, of what we let our eyes see.
To be pure, in our work places.
And to do it with all our hearts, as if we're working for someone higher.
That we are the person, of hope in our work places.
Chloe

You're one of a kind.

Hi there.
As I type this the sun is shining down on, the water, it's a perfectly, late winters day.
Everything is going well.
Today I spent time with my bestie, Melanie and her family.
It was so special,  along with her mother, who cooked amazing food for lunch today.
As I related to them about what I've gone through, and how God is healing me.
I am convinced, that I am back to my new normal self.
I love life, love where I'm going, and I'm growing through life, not groaning through it.
I Love my job, and I love being a part time baker, that means, time to enjoy the garden, and things that are worth while enjoying.
My breakdown, I'm not going to lie about it, was probably the most amazing thing, most people who have had breakdowns, if they are psychotic, ones like mine, take a while to come right.
Psychotic breakdowns, are interesting, because you don't plan them, they come right out of the blue.
For me, I was doing well at my course, there were ''no signs.'' leading up to it.
I can't really say when the wheels came off, but my parents probably could tell you.
The lord has blessed my life, with a good life, not one for harm, althrough if I wasn't a christian, I could harm myself if I wasn't careful.
Normanly if someone has a episode they would experice mental abuse to themselves, or sinsations, that I had, but they would be demonic.
I fully believe that, so did God, give me this break down for a reason?
Yes, I believe he did.Does he need to prove anything?
No, he's just here in my life, because I need him.Jesus is a faithful friend, that will never leave you or forget about you.
When I had my breakdown, I saw angels marching up and down our road, in my garden, in my room, in my hospital room I do believe I did see Michael and Gabrielle the angels protecting me.
Did I want to be admitted to the hospital?
No, I wanted to go home, and sleep in my own bed, the day it happend.
But I had to go through the system, because I beleive the Lord gave me that breakdown, for a reason, that is, that we need to be careful on ourselves.
I wasn't, I was working with no breaks at my job, I was living in 2 cities, working a lot, in an environment, that is tough, like really tough, probably should really be a chef, but I'm interested in food, and more of a baker.
I was trapped, in a very gossipy, place.
I was probably there way too long, and because it was work, and I had done it year after year, I was used to it.
I was used to saying yes, all the time, and this year, this year, is the first christmas I'll have off, in 6 seasons.
and birthday, and new year, all those stat days.
As the supermarket is closed.
I value that, and people want to go to work there.

So no matter what you've got out of your day today, no matter how what you're going through now, be it good or bad, or just adverage.
it's ok to take it all. Because you know, you're one of kind.

Lots of love
Chloe

August thoughts.

Hello there,
How's it all going?
I hope that you're having a really nice day.
The sun is shinning down today, the wind is trying, to blow.
I think we're in for some rough weather again.
Nothing much has happened from the last time, I wrote.
I'm making marmalade,in honor of Paddington bear.
One of my great childhood, memories. was his love for Marmalade.
Yesterday a friend and I went out to see the Magnolas, at the gardens, they are out and flowering.
It was a special time really, to see them flower, they are such beautiful trees.
I haven't got a topic to talk about today, just some random thoughts.
Yesterday I spoke about nothing is ever wasted in life, today I want to plan ahead, knowing,where you're going is important, so that you don't stay stagnant.
it's so easy to throw in the towel, and admit defeat, but don't because you're standing for a miracle, your positioning yourself for a miracle.
We have road works going down at the bottom of our road, they are building a rock wall, and putting in a foot path. now what would happen if all of sudden, the men don't turn up to work one day?
The fact is, that our city would have a half completed project, and our road would not be safe.
That is why we need to keep on going, when the going gets really tough.
Keep plodding ahead, and just do the job that is required.
If the lord is asking you to do something do it.
Do it with all your might and strength and everything that you have, because he has asked you to do so.
Bake like you've never baked before, do the job like you're doing it  with all you have. Think of someone that you love so much, and would do anything for, keep that person in your mind, then, boom, work while keeping that person in your mind. do it so jolly well you're setting an example for others.
Chloe

Nothing is wasted.

Hi there,
How are you?
I hope that you're having a really awesome day.

Today as I opened the curtains, I looked out on the window out on my pocked sized handkerchief.

My spring bulbs are coming up, and I noticed, lichen on my flowering chest nut tree, and rain drops hanging like diamonds on the brown spear  buds on the end of the branches.
It all looked so pretty, before the sun came up. the  drops will fall on the ground, watering the bulbs below.
The mossy lichen,will continue to grow  on the ancient, tree.
It's only when you take the time to actually pause and stop, that you take note on the beautiful things that the lord has given us.
He has been so kind to us.
and what have we done?
We've poked fun at others, ripping them down, because of the tall poppy syndrome.
Sadly, I am a culprit of it.
The day is brightening up a bit. and I'll be off on my walk soon.
I'm getting off topic.
I am using my certificate in baking and working in a bakery, I really enjoy the interaction of it, I miss the little place sometimes.
I'm sewing as well, I'm making bags, and that is a great pass time.
Nothing in life is wasted, everything makes sense, it will you might be at a point in your life, where you're wondering will I be stuck out in this wilderness, forever? will I get past this mountain in my life?
Well dear friend, pleased to say it.
You will face your fears, you will get better in your job, you'll  know that you're capable of doing, and you can do it.
I had a time in my new job, where  I felt that this was just going to beat me, and I was never going to get my break through, then one day last week I woke up, and I just felt different ,because I wrote all my fears down, and  I looked them straight in the face, Dad spoke to the mountain of fear, and it left.
My friend that is what you need to do, if you feel like you're at the foot of the mountain like I was.
I thought this thing was never going to move, I was never going make my mark, and get better at my job.
I'm slowly learning new things, and I do them faster, than the day before. I've also gone part time, so I can, enjoy my job better.
When I was in hospital, one of the things we had to do, was to have an exit plan.
a plan for getting better.
I had many of these plans, in my head, I wrote down a lot of them.
and came up with a perfect plan.
I was told that I could get work as early as 2 weeks after my breakdown, but felt that this was too soon, so I waited, and waited, I didn't want to go back to my current job, so I looked for work, in my bakery, profession.
and found one at a supermarket, one that is nice to work in, and people are really helpful, understanding, and friendly.
I'm doing everything on my plan, even a few extra things.
my days off are precious, I know that now.
I love the late winter sunshine coming in now, after a weekend of rain.
I was thinking before my breakdown, that things are wasted, why have I put all this money into qualifications, and not seeing the benefits of it. to say the least I was, at breaking point, I was angry.
But fully believed, in doing a good job, at the bakery.
I'm now loving the products I put out, I can see points of change.
I like the hard work, and being humanly tired and not having my head feeling heavy and full.
My friend, if you are striving, and not getting anywhere, please stop, now, write down what it is, and look it straight in the face of God, burn the bridges that need to be burned, and start to make other bridges.
Take time to enjoy yourself, not hide away in a dark corner.
Chloe

Jesus is always there.

Hi there my friends.
WEll I've learnt a few things this week.
working with a work plan, really does help. without it, everthing doesn't go to plan.
I risked it, and it didn't work.
I know I can still bake, and that it will all sink in.
Today I want to talk to you about, those times in life, where you feel like your constantly, fighting or battling, for something, and even your prayers seem to hit the wall, and come bouncing back, like those really super bouncy ball toys we had as kids.
I heard something on the radio the other day, preparing for a miracle. We need to stand fast and prepare for a miracle, no matter what it is, that you need from God, he will give it to you.
Sure we just need time, but we also need to know we can do the job, and that is your miracle, you know that Jesus is never going to walk you, on you, never going to leave you, forget you, he won't ever let you down.
My question, is, have you stood fast to this?
Have you positioned yourself, to what your wanting your miracle to be?
have you ask God for it?
Have you taken the time, to actually seek his answer?
You are not alone my friend, the lord will come through for you, even in the darkest of nights, he wont' forget about you, it might look like that, but he's working it all out for your benefit.
He's answering all those prayers, that you have prayed for, for so long.
Chloe

can I get get a connection?

Hi there my friends.
How's things?
I hope that you're having a really nice day.
The sun is, up and it's going to be a nice day.
No matter what you're going through today?
You have the power to connect with people on a level where they are at.

You might be in a position, where you are limited in what you're doing, perhaps that's the wrong word, but if you're feeling stuck, or can't move forward, no matter what you're doing stop right now, and write whatever it is, that is annoying you and or stopping you in your progress and you, will succeed.
There's no secret, we just need to get a connection, with others.
Just like, the One republic songs says.
There we go, short and sweet, today.
Chloe

inner brokeness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYR0xP1j4PY

I want you to listen to this song, because it's so powerful, if you're broken inside.
Keep courage my friend, even if you have nothing left, just rely on him to bring you through.
If you just want to get through, then this song is for you.
If you're more than wanting to get through, speak to that spirit to keep fighting to keep beating.
If you haven't found your way yet, don't panic there's heaps of time in the world, to find your flow.
Don't even, ever think less than that.
You're not hopeless, you're treasured, and you will get up off the ground and soar, like a bird above what feel like an inner storm.
Let God come, and just speak these words into your burnt, aching, scorched searing soul.
Even if you haven't got anything left, like nothing, find love in these words.
because they are for you.
You will get there, it might seem like people are keeping score, but you know that Jesus doesn't keep score, or total up what wrongs you've done, did or ever going to do.
No matter if you've promised yourself, that it won't happen again, just be with God, today, tonight, let him come to you on your darkest of darkest nights.
If you're walking through, grief, loneliness, depression, love is here.
Only the sereinty of God;s love can heal what you've gone through.
No one is keeping score.
Chloe