December

Hi there,
How are you?
I hope that you're good.
Today I want to talk you to you, about somethings that I've been going through, and perhaps you can relate or perhaps not.

Perhaps, you're just here, because you just need to be here.

I want to talk you you, about somethings that I've missed out in my own life.

I've been consecrating on the wrong things.

And I would like to get them out in the open, because it's healthy to do so.

If someone today asked you, as you look back on the year, and Christmas day, what's been happening, what have you been happy about? what has made you unhappy, what has been happening in your life, and you were brutally honest.

What would you say?


I'd say this, I've had highs and lows, I've had up and downs, I've had thought that every year, I'd meet ''the one'' and each year, I get excited.

We've done some pretty cool things, this year, I've seen 2 of my best friends get married, I've been close to my best friend, who found her husband online, I've felt the lonelyness of it, too.

We've opened up a gym that is going really well, and I am proud of my brother for having the fore sight into it, because he believes, in what he is doing.

I've seen my brother cover top stories for a majour news paper, I've seen my Dad's cricket team come out on top of the girls cricket team and be the best in new zealand.

I've made some choices on my own, that was moving away from what I knew and do further study, and move away from my friends, to futher my career.

I've been proud to put on my whites, and use my knives, I've made some really cool friends from overseas, where others might feel a bit lonely in including them, and make fun of them.

I've had some cool things happen at work, and some not so cool things happen.

I've broken down in tears, at times, because it got a bit too much.
I've had some amazing, results in written tests in exams.

I've invited everyone to my pitty party and no one came.

I've even wondered if I had bipolar.

I've felt total mess, and loss of things, and the only thing that has worked, has been fur.

So why do I go through these things?
Because it is life.

This is life, and it's hard, it's gritty, it's life, and sometimes, we are in the middle of some really tricky situations,and we just need to ride it out.

And yes sometiems it feels like we're swimming in a rip, and it's carrying us way out of the normal for us, perhaps we're going into the unknown, perhaps we are just giving people answers just to keep them queit.
Perhaps we're even thinking about ''buying our friendship.'' beacuse we just want someone around, or to stick or to stay.

Our parents and friends can only give advice, that is right for them.
It sounds mean,  but we are all different.

I work in hospo, because I believe I can cook, but I'm not going to work in a Michelin star restaurant.
I can bake, but I won't be working in a flash as french pastry shop.

I can look after animals and say I've got 4 certificates in animal care, but I am not a vet nurse, cause I couldn't put animals to sleep.

I've liked guys, but I won't say I'm a serial dater.

You might be in the middle of something, that looks grey, and lets be honest no one like grey areas, people might  have you hanging.

You might be in a seasonal job, where they might need you occasonally, but can't be given,  gurreenteed work hrs.

I don't know, but all I do know, is, that nothing is life, is wasted.

Nothing, is wasted, every thing you look at, be it jam on toast for breakfast, your coffee, your lunch, your dinner, your friends, your work, your study, you've done study, that has come up at the right time for you to do.

Your family, yeah some parts are ugly, some are tricky to navo.
but they are your family, and at the end of the day you do love them.

You stick at it because they are all that you have, and your friends, sure some might be anoying, but at the end of the day, they are the ones that would really give you a high five or a treat because hey they are your friends.

and you don't need to buy things just to keep them your friends.

Saying goodbye to the past, is hard, it's incredably hard, but it's the right thing to do.
So no matter what sort of year you've had, no matter what you're walking through right now.

God is right there, in person, walking you thruogh it, because he believes in you.

Chloe

Got too much on your plate?

Hi there.
Have you ever thought when you were  going through a really busy time, the time when you just drink coffee or energy drinks just to get through the day.
All of sudden things just mounted up, and once in a while you think it's wonderful that you're keeping yourself busy.
It feels great to have money coming into your bank account, the jobs keep coming up, and things are still needing to be paid.
Then you have a day off, and you think it's strange just to sit down and read a book?
Or feeling guilty that you haven't done a thing about dinner.
While others are so hungry in the world, I thought about that the other day.
There was a supermarket trolley full of baked goods going out in the skip simply because they were past their used by date.
And it got me thinking, suddenly what you think is good isn't.
Burn out can happen so fast, that sometimes you don't know how to function because you're all the time busy.
You simply aren't made to be a energy battery, and sometimes something has to give.
You can't keep saving or rescuing people if you see if happening, but you can care about them.
And sometimes you need to put your foot down and tell people that they aren't the ones calling the shots, you're boss is.

Struggling to believe and rise again?

I was talking to my aunt over  lunch at the gardens the other day.
It was perfect, because I hadn't noticed the flowers that pop their colorful heads up on the ground.
I had been too busy working.
My auntie Jan and her husband had come back from a mission trip to Fiji.
It was really encouraging again to a weaken me.
I was talking to my friend at work yesterday, to ask if she can pray for me, I was so weak I didn't know if God was really there.
We all have those moments, we seem fine on the outside, but confused and cracked on the outside.
My friend, who is Chinese, have me such amazing advice  said to pray for righteousness in situations that aren't right, when your back is against the wall, that all sorts of plans are in your head.
So friends if you're going through a really hard day, and nothing seems to go right, just pray to God for the spirit of Righteousness to come and minister to you.
Jesus didn't have it easy on earth, but he had to come and make a way for us to come and live Righteousness and live in hope, because we now we can have hope, and that spirit that rose Christ from the dead, is living with us.
Chloe

December thoughts.

It seems such a long time ago, in my teens that I started this blog.
I had no real reason why, I started it, I guess it was to get my thoughts out there.
So in a way, I am writing for myself.


I don't have many thoughts, this December, as it gets closer to Christmas, we're always wanting, to impress others.

We can go into the dept with the biggest, presents, or secret Santa presents that go into the hundreds, but is that only what we think about Christmas?

How do we get away from all the commercialism?
How do we get past this like a brick wall that blocks our way?

We all want to be someone, and impress them.

What happens if we just sit back and examine ourselves? think clearly for a while.
and just think what really needs to be done.
You'll find that things will be come simple, it's only because we make them over complicated at this time.

We want  ''to out do'' the previous year.

Living away from home, and going home for Christmas is going to be cool, all adult children, with one new kitten.

Sure we all wind each other up, that's because we've all come home from all different part from New Zealand.

After all science has proven that it's good to have sister.

Perhaps I'm a half baked sister, maybe one that no one really wants, but hey I'm here, and my family has to get used to it,
I might get over excited, at times, yeah I might just wake up my brothers,  early and sit at their foot of their bed at 7 am, and really want to know how they are going.
 Probably not the best, time for a deep and meaningful convo.
But there we we go.
Nothing really, changes,  I guess, my encouragement, is, no matter what sort of mood you are this Christmas, no matter if you feel like you've got to out do the others, you don't.
My encouragement, is  no matter where you are in your life.

Life is short, live it well, people like spending time with them, they don't necessary remember the money that you spent on them.

How do I know?
Cause I just do.

prasing God when your stuck in the middle.

HI there,
How are you getting on?
Well it's a crazy time of the year, when the weather is supposed to be sunny, and people are all out buying Christmas presents.
And the songs are playing in the malls, and people are out for catching up, and socialising, which is fun.

How has the year been for you?
What have been some high lights for you this year?
I was talking to my friend, who had 3 amazing things happen this year.
She graduated, she got engaged, then she got married.

Perhaps you've moved out of home, to a different city, perhaps you've brought a home, and your well settled, perhaps you've got all your things sorted out for Christmas.

For me, when you get older, you don't want all the fuss, you don't want the competition, of who has the best present, and it does happen.

What do I want this year for Christmas? not much, it doesn't take me much to be happy.

Yes we have worries, yes we might be living on the minim wage, or on when as required contracts,  yes we might want those good old days back, the days when everything was sunny, happy, everything just worked.

Life is precious my friends, I know, and that is the greatest gift of all time, yes you might be stuck in the middle, yes you might be too kind to your friends, yes you might just jolly well have plainly had enough, of people sucking you dry, but don't despite them, because it will eventually come back around.
You might not really know it, but you buying them that coffee or, drink or ice cream or treat, might have saved them money for a bus, or something else.

You might just be that link in peoples lives, that you don't see it now, but they will come back, and thank you.

And if you're wondering, at this time of year, ''can you be bothered?" well the answer is yes, it has to be, because if people, weren't bothered, there would be no jobs, no salary, and you wouldn't be around.
Jesus didn't give up on us, he didn't think for one moment' I can't be bothered today,'' he had it really hard, he lived with people who sort of believed, he hung out with the unexpected, people, the people you don't normally hang out with.
 Imagine, if he wasn't bothered with the sermon on the mount?
Imagine if he wasn't bothered, with the women who suffered from hemorging for 12 years, she tried everything.

She had nothing left to live on.

When we live in despite times, we look at ourselves, and it makes us think, ''Right I have $20 this week, what is needed?"
And that is me.

And yet time and time again, Jesus is there, emotionally, physically and always provides, I've never been without blessing.
So if you're thinking are you stuck, in the middle and can't see a way out.
Praise God cause he will and can give you the rescue that you need.

Chloe

November thoughts.

Hi there friends.
How are you?
Today  is sunny down in invercargil, and I've been out doing gardening with dirt under my hands.
It felt great to be outside, with air in your lungs, weeding, and making things tidy.
Which was the inspiration for my  post today.

I will try and keep it brief and to the point.

In the garden that we have here, is a water feature, a pond, with a tree fern, quite close by. around the base of the pond, is a stony walk path, that was covered in leaves, weeds and the stones were hidden from view. So I ripped in there, and cleared it all away. It didn't take much, but now we have a nice little clean feature.

I cut back the dying branches of the tree fern, and made a bit of focal point from it's beautiful trunk. Padding around in bare feet pulling out weeds for the day was very enjoyable.

It got me off facebook, it got me away from the things that happened in the morning.

And it also inspired me, to write this.

Life can be a bit like that stony path, we might have a beautiful feature, in ourselves in our friends, or what ever, but we are blinded by the stuff that needs doing, the stuff that covers who we really are.

So who am I?
What am I?

This got me thinking, about where I am heading.
Am I heading down a track that is always going to be covered with the next big thing? the next meltdown? am I going to be crying every time I hang up the phone to my parents because they are struggling to trust me with my life with what I want to do?

Do we trust ourselves, in what we are capable off?

Finding ourselves, seems rather hippy, rather alternative, strange, but we all need to do it.

We need to surround ourselves with good people in our lives, that will carry us through the storms, that understand us, that won't go behind our backs, will trust us, will love us, not because we are ''someone'' but rather because they are our friends, and yes some of my friends are better than family.

So whatever you are doing now, think about what is out there, what is stopping you from reaching that goal, that burning desire, and start your journey of doing it.
Don't be like the leaves, the dirt the rubbish on the stony path, to sidetrack you from doing what you need to do.
Don't listen to that voice, of '' you'll never ammount to much'' because those are lies, and look full straight ahead, make small steps, and you'll be right there, making hystory.

Well that's me, for now,
Take care
Chloe

Goodbye meltdowns

Hello,
How's your week been?
What's been happening with you?
Today I want to talk about, something that has been on my mind, something that possibly will help you.

I know I've been going on, and on about things, and perhaps you're tired of it, I don't make excuses, I'm not going to be a cookie cutter Christian, or person, boxed, the world is getting more and more self absorbed in ''what about me, always about me.''

And let me tell you, it's not all about yourself, it's about must have coffee in the morning,  to survive the day, it's not about sleeping in so you can get some sleep when the house is quiet.

My friend, sometimes tears come, because you need healing.

 You might be the strongest person, you might be  right, then sometimes might happen and it crashes all around you.

When that happens what happens?

Who do you go to?

I'm a share things, and perhaps a bit to much on social media, but you know sometimes you need to know. Life is gritty.

It's not all sugar coated, it's not all about relationships.

Even though they are great, the other sex is fantastic, I have many friends who are guys, and guys have been so understanding, without them I'd be a complete mess, more than I am in now.

Life does get messy, but it's in that mess, that the most amazing things happen.

Life starts to bloom in the dark.

The chains that bound you in the dark, well they don't have any grip on you, any longer.


Now it's up to us, to come in our own times, to let go of it.

Are you willing, to let go of your control, of what you want, and just live life in freedom?

The king of heaven wants you, he wants you so much, that the world has lost it's grip on you.

No matter, if that door in your life strives and tries to open up, so that perhaps maybe all those  things in the pasty  try to come out and haunt you.

God is always there, you don't need to pretend everything is fine,  even church, we don't just go to church we are the church.

Go with God, make a stand, to no more meltdowns, cause um you are brave, brave than the person, that you think you are.

Having drama, in your life, and meltdowns are exhusting. Remember those  ''hello'' sticky name tags that you were at functions, the ones that always end up on your  soles of your shoes?

You don't want to be ''hello, my name is.....'' and I'm Miss never fun.

or ''I'm meltdown chloe''- that's a good one.

Not only you'll get a name for yourself, but it's not you.
 and other people will know it's not you, because you are more than that.


One thing that I love about my dad is, not only does he love cricket, and I hope when I'm in dunedin, I can go along, and pretend that I know what it's all about,  yeah I know, it's crazy, but I Just love seeing people enjoy it, me and lemon lime bitters, some good baking and I'm all set.

Dad, is honest, I guess you have to be when you teach year 2 girls to the ones that just want to be finished and done.
 any way, Dad keeps me having short accounts, and infact my brothers do as well.

make sure you have in your day, one good thing happen.
 yeah?
 yeah, got it?
 say goodbye to meltdowns, say goodbye to drama, to toxic things, to things that you've ''owned.'' for far to long.

Go you there, buy the shoes and the dress, life is too short friends.

those human moments

Today I want to talk to you, about those human moments.

Those ones, in your life, where you go there in your mind, or perhaps you're wondering you are going in your life.

I am 30 years old,  and now it's time to make my own way, which is really scary, because I am a late starter, confidence doesn't really come easily.

And in cheffing gosh you need that, and why am I doing a cheffing course at the age I am?
Well work is quiet, so I thought Id make the most of it, and just go for it.

So that's why, I'm doing it, I wouldn't say I'm a natural, I wouldn't say I'm particularly good at it, but I enjoy it.


And in those human moments, just be yourself, don't freak out, or let things become too big, or else you dwell on them and they will destroy, you.
be free of what others think of you, don't go on other peoples opinions, or thoughts just be yourself.

And you'll come out the other end, stronger, it might feel like you're going through hell, you might have expereinced something that no human should have expereinced.  you might be so afraid, to go outside, you might be waking up in your sleep, with things in your mind, that just play over and over like a tape on pause.

No matter, what you've done, no matter how ''fallen'' you might have labled yourself, or others,  label you, no matter, what others think of you.
The Cross has made your flawless, no matter how deep the scars go, and if they reopen, no matter, if people think it's over, and you know it's not, perhaps it is for them, but it's the start for you, the start of healing.

Healing means, alot of things, if you think of a wound, what happens in a cut?

There's blood, and obserously, a wound has been caused, and it needs to heal from the inside out.

And covering the wound makes it less likely to become infected, you might use some antibacterial spray to stop it becoming infected.

My friends, perhaps that's life, perhaps you've been cut, hurt, walked through things, that you had to tell your heart to beat again.

You've been keeping things in way to much, to stop the ''infection'' in your life.

But there comes a time when you need to change the bandage, no one like a wet damp stinky bandage  on a cut.

It's time to move on, time, to burn the ships to the past, close the door, be strong,  and close the door, and just love life, and let yourself be you.

Chloe

when you're up against it

Hi there.
Well it's been a long time since I've written, and since then I have moved out of home and living in invercargil, which is still a city that surprises me.

I want to talk to you today, about being strong, and standing up against the wind.
Something that is really hard to do sometimes, especially when you're in the middle of it all. But we know that we are strong, stronger than we think we are, or even care, and even having a good mind about the outcome.

And that means heaps to people, people like to know you care, that your not just another person. Treat everyone with respect, and love because as someone told me recently, when you give out you receive double,even though you might not like where you are at the moment, even though you want to be strong through it all, you are. and people look out for you, they really do.

One thing is, that today is a different day that yesterday, and today will be different for tomorrow, and you will have an amazing day today.
Sometimes, we can't always make sense of our lives, and sometimes, we love the ones that hurt the most.
For me, I want to run around try to fix people, but sometimes we can't always do that. sometimes we need to leave them alone for while, or else we smother them, and we're just another voice, another banging gong, rather, than holding back, and waiting, to see what they think.
Sure sometimes, in life, we get these people and we feel smothered, we feel dictated, we freeze up, and we make plans, we aren't flexible.

And sometimes, we get the opposite, sometimes, we get these people, in life, that force themselves on us, and we didn't want that either.

Victim it's an interesting word, we can blame it on our families, even if we come from a good one, or relationships. there's nothing wrong on getting excited, there's nothing wrong with that.

We shouldn't force ourselves into things, and let the other person speak.

What do I know about love?
Well not much but I'm willing to learn, love for me, isn't just bodidly desires, it's not pretty people, or dresses, or trying to please,  conversation should flow easily, and not awkardly.

I am 30 years old, I know some people think I should have gone around the block, a few times, seen what's out there.

But recently I'm scared of all people, simply because I went through a scary time, recently, and men really scare me. it was a case of someone trying to fit in, and forgot that it was actual sexual harassment, and yes, did get threated with rape and murder.

The only person I could actually trust was ''Mr View sonic, eyes.''

I mean that in a good way, who ever is reading this.

We need to bring things into the light, and get them out in the open, and I realize that not all men are scary, there's a lot of good guys out there.

And guys thanks so much for looking out for the girls.

Because what might seem harmless, might really be dangerous, that's why the #metoo movement is so strong, cause, when girls hear things, we know it's not right.


It  plays on our mind, like a tape stuck on rewind.

But we've parked this issue, and we have it sorted.

Time to move on and enjoy life, you can't stand in the way of progress.

And we all need to move  forward  don't we?

Well that's my thoughts for today, time to close down the computer, and head outside for a great day in the garden.

homesickness

Today I want to tell you somethings that I'm going through.
Some of it will be raw, I'm doing this to get it all out in the open.

I've just moved down from home, to start a new course, and into a new city.
It was great for the first week, I really thought that is was it, it felt like I have found my way in life.

Then something happened, something over time perhaps has changed.

I nosed dived like a crashed plane, a happy girl, who found friends easily, was now crying all the time, for no real reason why.
I had been blessed in the past to just fit in, but not this time.

I had thoughts of moving back home, each time I drive past the arrow that says ''Dunedin,'' I just want to just leave and go, but my fear is, when I'm back home, how on earth will I get my car to come back down?

Moving away wasn't really an issue, as I looked at my knife roll, and packed up my room I had good feelings. Now, no colour here, no friends, I feel about as icy blue, as my bedroom walls.
how can someone so confident, just fall like this?

I mean people fly all around the world, they move countries all the time, and I'm only 2 and half hours, thinking that the city I'm in, is like a floating ice cap.

I'm just drifting through, hoping that the tide will take me closer to dunedin.

Dunedin, with all it's culture, where it's home, oh if you asked me what it's like.

my home is perched on a hill, gets all the sun all day, over looks the city, over looks salty water, has colour, oh so much colour.

There's a flag pole like a beacon on a light house, flying high, with flags of different countries.

Food is important, yes we are big eaters, so each meal is made with love and time.
there's no race for the kitchen.
And there's hugs, always hugs and you really know things are going to get better, so much so, you know that they are, cause you can feel it the moment you walk in.

Not this awful frozen feeling.

And adventures, oh the adventures,theres always someone to take on adventures.

And good bakeries, and coffees, and hot chocolate shops.

You can be yourself, and have people just love you just the way you are.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that even if you're really homesick, you're not alone.

It might be weeks like this, it might be months, but what I'm saying is, that yes even in the deepest parts of your body, you're missing that missing piece, all the while knowing its out there.

It will come to you, it really will.

You're not on this trail alone,  trust me you're not alone.

That's all.

July thoughts 2.

I was in class today, and it was theory.
I always love theory, I always read and always try to take notes.

Now one of my weakness is having time on my hands, and as my course is 3 days a week.

When I moved down, out of home, I was ready, to go, ready to find my way in the world.

Ready to wear my whites again, and look forward to it, and I'm enjoying my place and my time down here.

When I packed up my room, I was thinking about mum and dad, and how will they take it?
I saw my brothers for 24 hrs we were a family, then I had to make my way to Invercargil, for course again.

All the emotions, came back, when I said goodbye to Matt, for the time.
Letting go, and trusting your kids, trusting yourself, to do things, is huge.

Because you can do things, my friends, you're more than capable of carrying on with things.

Find ways, in your day to enjoy what you've got, even if it's a warm room, or a cup of tea, or the late sunshine coming into the lounge making that leather sofa oh so inviting.

There comes a time in life, when you need to get out of the mould of others, what others think about you, and you might just might be suprised in what you can do.

Don't think for a moment, that you're not bright enough, not artistic enough, or whatever, the ''I couldn't do that.''

Because you can.
And you make it though tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. because you know that because Christ lives you can face tomorrow.

July thoughts

Hi there.
HoASw is your day going?
I hope that it's been a good one.
I've been racing around town, trying to get my things sorted, for the move down south.
Which I'm really excited about.
On my list of things, were to go to the panel beaters, and get my car fixed from a nose to tail crash that happened down in Invercargil. It's not a bad dent, or bad mark, and perhaps it's best to let it slide, and show mercy.

It is only a car, and if you asked me, 2 years ago, and the same thing happened, what would be my answer?
I'd be hypercritical, and nasty, about it.
Now I can let it slide.
 After all I did do some damage to my car, and it's less money to pay compared to the  driver that went back into me.

Some things in life are hard to swallow, and hard to go through, and sometimes we go through things that aren't always easy or our way of doing things.

Sometimes we make our own human mistakes, our own ways in life, and we beat ourselves up about it.

One thing that God is teaching me, are challengers, we are faced with them everyday, our emotions, how we see ourselves, how we see others, how we are kind to others, and how we accept it.
How we  extend grace to people.

That might need it more than we do, or we might need a huge dose of it.
As you can see, a lot of things are going through my head.

Keep it all juggling in the air,  can be tiring, you're always trying to please others, yourself, and provide for others, and yourself. It can be a recipe for burnout.

We snap, we argue, we hide away, and we just sweep things under the carpet, until the things that are there, are a big hump and when we walk over the carpet, we trip up.

One thing about going to going to a good workout is that you're focused on one particular routine, and all the things that bug you and annoy you, have melted away.

You learn not to carry on anyone else's problems, and you leave them at the gate, at work, and at home.

I was always wanting to fix people, fix certain situations,  and I discovered very quickly that you can't always do that.

Now I'm into a new phase of life, and it's exciting, and looking towards new things.

So my thoughts are, to you are whatever you're doing, just hold on tight and enjoy the ride.

God's got your back.

handling over the mantel

Hi there people,

How are you?
I hope that you're good and well, and enjoying the last little bit of winter.

Today I want to talk to you about handling over the Mantel, and what does that look like?

As I look around, and hear things on the news, there's been a lot of murder suicides, and awful things, happen to people, not only in the world but in our cities, in our communities.

We were talking about, it as a family, and how we can change it.

Have we accepted this as our norm now?


Have we got so engrossed with our phones, and devices, we're not picking up the signals of others?
Are we even watching out for them?

Have we glorified, ourselves to the point that we all have insta-gram, and all that to take photos,  and post them around to friends, all the while feeling like there's something missing?
Or that face book post, that you've just posted, and you are constantly checking how many people, like, comment, and all that?

Have we lost ourselves, so much we don't want to pass on good values to our friends and family?

One thing that King David, did was to make a good exit plan, when he was ready to die, he had it all planed out, he even did a census, to find out how many fighting people he had so that Soloman when he became king, he knew the exact ammount.

He had left one person out, and that was Adonijah, an enemy, he conned Bathsheba to have power, and set himself up as king.

David, makes Soloman king, and then swears an oath to God, now swearing an oath, isn't one thing to be taken lightly. David knew what he was doing, and because of his righteous heart, the Lord granted success to David before he died.

And that graciousness was passed on to, Solomon, so when he became king, he was the wised king there was.

He even came head to head with Adonijah,  he told him to go to his own home.

My friend, what do you need from the Lord today?

Is it peace of mind that the lord will come through for you?
 That he will fulfill his promises to you?

My friend, take heart, he always does.

Beautifully broken

Hi there.

How are you?
 I hope that you're having a  nice day, after all the snow, that has come, the wind and the sunshine has come out and it has all ready melted away.

I recently had 5 glorious days, up in Timaru, it was such an encouraging time, going to church, was a high light, going to a musical concert, was amazing, and hanging out with some really good friends.

I really loved it,  and sometimes we need to have those days when we just enjoy the moment without having, any plans.

And forgive me friends ,if some of my posts feel like the same thing over and over. One thing that I have learnt recently is, that no matter if you're contantstly battling, with somethings that you just can't face,  or go through, and no matter if you're wondering, why, or what, or how.
The lord above knows, and you might think, ''yeah, people always say that, just to make me feel better.'' but really it is true, beause you are a child of God, you're still a child of God, no matter what you've done, whatever your sickness is  no matter what you're doing, how you are right now, doesn't determine your outcome.

You are no longer a slave to fear,  there is no fear in Jesus.

His love is so vast, and his kindness, is so big, that you can't measure it.

And some of you need to know, to take people's kindness, and their love because they love you.

It might take  some time to accept that,  but they are wanting to bless  you because you bless them.
And you  are doing it not because they are your friends, but you're doing it for God.

Soon, I will be packing up my room, and moving down south, to carry on my career, and learn. I don't know what is laying before me, but all I know, is God is good, and there's no where I can't hide, from God, and trusting God.

But we can't just say we're trusting God, with out actively doing something.
So when does the rubber hit the road?

When we are intentional, and we do something about it.

Instead of blaming, the past, we're looking to the future,  what has happened has happened, but we're past that, our past doesn't define us any longer.

Remember the people in the bible, the great people in the bible, and the lady with the oil, she had nothing, and the authorities, were coming to take everything away, even her son into captivity.

What did she have?
she had one little dish of oil, that was it.

What happened to that oil?

The man of God, came and blessed that oil, and she managed to sell it, to pay off her debts, and her whole life was turned around.

But it doesn't end there, it comes up in other areas in the bible, simply because of obedience.
We need to be obedient to things that God calls us to do, and that means, doing it.

Because you know, that you are called to do it, live without limits, we often put limits on ourselves, we often think this is safe, and we think it's safe beause that it all we know.

And that only works so far.

We serve a an UNLIMITED  God,  who breaks every chain of bounadge, of fear, of miss trust, of whatever your doing, he turns that into the oppososite.

We don't need to have goal charts to please him, we dont need megaphones to shout at him, we just need to be slient, before him, to wait for his voice, to tell us what to do.

And what does he want us to do?

walk humbly before him,  no great smoke machines at worship, no mirriors,  no church is better than the other ones in town.
He just wants us to walk humbly and roll up our sleeves and start to serve, serve people where they are at in life.

And walk beside them.

That is all that is required of us.

I'll think about you.

One of my favourite songs, are from ''we are messengers''  '' I'll think about you.''

Why because it reminds me of the  love of Christ, and the hope that we have, that no matter what we're doing, no matter what we're facing, Christ thinks about us.
I recently had 5 days away, it was great to see old friends, to catch up with new ones, and to get encouraged, by going to 2 different bible groups.

One special one, and you could do it with a bunch of friends, is, to get a small note book, and in the back you write what you see in yourself, and your friends write in the front about how you see your friends, not only is it portable, but very encouraging if you're moving away or starting something new, or going through a really tough time.

My dears, if you are that person today, know that the lord, is always with you, that he doesn't give up on you, that you're always on his mind, and love and hope, is yours today.
it might sound cliche, it might  seem a bit untrue, you might even wonder why, I'm not totally sure, but you're not alone.

Not even sickness  can, seperate us from the love of God.

So today's post is short and sweet, build up and encourage yourself in the lord.

Chloe

you will get your break through

Hi there,
How are you?
I hope that you're having a really nice day.
It is still foggy mist, here.

My friends, I want to share with you, some of the thoughts that I have.

No matter if you're in your ''valley'' on on the mountain tops, no matter to what you do. God is good, and perhaps that's all you need to know right now.

I was thinking in bed the other day, about how God will answers my prayers,  it seemed all that was happening were that they were hitting the celling and bouncing back down. as if to say '' I told you so.''

Perhaps you're walking up stream, perhaps you've gone '' All in'' and you're wondering where you are going, my friend, keep walking, keep the faith, keep the spirit of God in you.

Keep it alive, encourage yourself, in good people, that will, help you, that will love you, that will always be there for you, even if, yes even if it's risky.


Why? because you know, above all, that it was worth it, and you might be the ''rope'' to other people to haul them up when it all gets a bit too much.

Because you know, you've been there, and done that, an no matter what happens, in your work, your home, no matter in your study, when you're going all out, and you are just plain tired, of the merry go around,  you keep holding on, because someone does believe in you along the way.

Soon, very soon, I'll be packing up my room, and heading south to do cookery,  I've found a really neat place to live, and I'm excited about what is going to happen.

Why at the age of 30 go and do it?

Because we all need to keep learning, if we don't, we just don't grow, we don't move forward in the faith, we sit around waiting for something to happen.

That was me,  I was happy to keep waiting, happy, to just wait for the phone to ring, and not to anything while my garden grew even more weeds.

If you have ''weeds'' in your life, things that sap your energy, or that things that you've once enjoyed , just for a while you haven't. keep your eyes open to make new friends, new jobs, new things.

Keep pushing yourself, in the things that you do enjoy, make new activities, that perhaps you wouldn't even consider in doing.

Our family has a rule, if you're feeling a bit sad, help someone else out.
  it does work, even if it's the dishes, even if it's a meal, or just folding the washing, it means so much for that other person.

You will get your break through, God will give it to you, without strings attached.

I was cleaning out my draws the other day, and I found a suside letter,  that I wrote, why you might ask?

Because I was under the influence of evil? I just couldn't help but think, the earth was better without me.  I'm not needed so therefore I'll go and do it.

But your a Christian you might say, yes, even Christians, suffer from  susidal thoughts, and it wasn't just daily, these were over years.

I had a demon of death, and yes even on good days, it would come and haunt me.

Prayer, lots and lots of prayer, and telling others my thoughts, and have them pray for me.
 that is how I conqured it.

So no matter what you're going through, no matter if you think, '' it can't be done.'' no matter if others think you're crazy, and ask if you're feelling ok.

You will get your break through and it will be massive.

complete and utter mess.

Hello

Well the sunshine is out, and the washing is drying on the line, and the city is bright and clear, and it didn't freeze over night.

Today  I want to share with you, something that is close to me.
 Because we know we don't struggle alone.

And as I write this, I am in my Pjs, listening to some west life.

I'll get going eventually.

I've found out, that I'm enjoying my life, right now. I am.

I was talking to a friend, who is still very close to me, and she said that other friends don't ring, her, I do. there's something about hearing someone's voice on the end of the phone, but I do get it, because she's getting married, and to us single people, we sort of think that there's a new life about to start, so we stay away.

I'm also going for a new job,  as a baker and hopefully using my skills, that I learn t last year.

We are also opening up a new business, in town, so that has added, extra stress but also blessings.

Sometimes we need to believe ourselves that we need to do it, not proving to anyone, because that gets us no where.

if you're always proving, to someone you'll never really get there, because the bar will be always set to high.

At the gym, how do we train? do we go all in, and then stop?

lets face it, we convince ourselves that we don't need  to go,  but when we go, we come out amazing, because we've given our bodies the freedom to exercise, and we know if we're all venting up inside, like a volcano, inside, something is about to give.

We all need those stable friends in our lives, that look out for us,  and sometimes yes it means going to councilling, just to make sure we're not lossing our minds.

What I say, what I write, how I work, isn't easy, inface it's really hard for people, to understand. I say things out loud which are my thoughts,  then if I see someone who's down, well they need to be fixed,  I'm completly, Mad, and infact, yes truth be told I'm unstable in my thoughts.

And if people get in on that, they make it so much bigger than it is, and I'm all caught up in it, the latest one is me being called an count of some description, that I'm coming back to save the people out of work.

That messes with me, so much because I really want to. as you can see I take things very literally, which is funny to the person, but extremely dangerous for me.
My nature is a bit like a basset hound, others can see that I'm getting pushed around but my basset hound nature just sits down and takes it.



Because normal people live normal lives and they can pick up what is, and what isn't.

And here's me trying to make sense out of it all,  I want to make everything better, but I know full well, I can't always wave a magic wand over that person and fix it all.

So my readers, I haven't been this honest for a while, but these are the things that I am going through right now. and if you're going through something totally similar, you'll make it out the other end alive.

God will never give up on you, my friend, he will never let you go.


Off for a run.

C

seeing the truth for what it is.

Hello there my friends.
How are you?
i hope that you're having a really  nice day.

Today's  weather in Dunedin is quite rainy, with hail, and there's snow on the ground.

I am listening to a document y about P.L Travers.

If you know about Mary Poppins, you'll know a bit about P. L Travers.

Today I want to talk about the truth, because there are many things, that blind us from seeing it.

It might be that you are looking for the truth, in some sort of way.

Pilot struggled with seeking the truth, in fact he asked Jesus what is '' the truth''

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.

We know, if we don't have that, we are merely, just making do, or getting by.

If we loose sight of the truth, we loose sight of what we are in ourselves.

And the truth is different to different people, how we live our lives, what we do with it, how we go about it from day to day.

So we are put here on earth to look after it, to love people in the truth and to do good, not harm, to live life to the fullest.

Our jobs are different, you might be a nurse, you might be in physio, you might be a cafe worker, a chef, you might right now be at the pinnacle of your life, you've reached the top in everything, but yet feel empty.

I'm not to sure, but what I know, is that we  don't struggle alone, and we're not put on earth to struggle, and you might be thinking to throw in the towel now, to really give up, to just throw everything away.

Why?
Why do you want to do, that?

you might think '' you have no idea what it is like?''  you don't know that every morning I have to go and do this job, which I really am not coping in.
My friend, take courage, because it's because of them, you are to serve.

And if you don't go to work, who else will?

some lazy person, who does only the bare essentials, and only getting by, leaving the rest of the people dry.

You are better than that, my lovelies.

Have you ever been caught out in a hail storm? or in town on a really wet day?

you've got your coat on, you're rushing around trying to get to your car, and you think that the sunshine, isn't coming out, only to find perhaps maybe 45 minutes later after that storm the sun does?

That is what the truth is, and some times we need to tell it.

Sometimes yes, other people do need to know the truth, sometimes they only need to know it in secret.

My brain is damaged, dead in places,  I bet myself up so much over the years, about this, I worried sick, what parts were dead, brain damaged? was it all of it, where was it?
Was it better to have a disability, that people could see rather have an internal one?

Then the Lord spoke the truth to me, I was made in his image, with his fingers carefully molding me, and he knew about my brain, and he knows my thoughts, even my anxious ones, he knows what I want in life, he believes in me.

And sometimes we need to believe in ourselves, we really do need to stop ''beating around the bush, and stop beating ourselves up.''

so many times I've beaten myself up, because of what home life was like, so many times I've beaten myself up because of gossip, so many times, I've worried about what I was like as a kid, all frustrated,  it is now that I am ok, with my life.

I mentioned P. L Travers, earlier, because she was famous writing the most beloved book of all time Mary Poppins.

She also struggled hugely, with the truth, with trusting people close to her life,  she wanted, a life full of good things, so she made up a fantasy world, to live in.

What I didn't know about her, was that she adopted a little boy, who was a twin, she so wanted to have children and this was one way of getting her wish.

She also adopted her maid as well, some people might think that she was made, she suffered from depression, however she also had huge ''highs'' as well.

one thing about her little boy, was that he always grew up not knowing the truth, about the second brother. she had always kept it a secret.

Maybe it was to protect her, maybe she was in her 30s and thought that life had passed her by, we aren't to know.

But we are to know, that if we know the truth, for ourselves, for other people, for knowing God, it is to set us free.

Take care and keep warm.

Chloe

Hi there,
How are you getting on?
It's cold in dunedin, so I've got the fire going.
I do hope that you're somewhere nice and warm.

Today I caught up with a friend, and her dog, who yes, carries his own toy in his mouth all the way home.

Lately I've been learning things, some deep things, some things I am going to let go.

And as I threw this toy as far as I could for the dog to fetch, this dog, would run past the toy, run back get it and bring it back, and as the dog got more tired, the further away the toy got from my feet.

My friend, are you that person?
Are you tired and weary, perhaps you've got some big things, in life that might be ''thrown at you'' like the toy, and you might run, after that thing, in life, run past, pick it up and run back.

One thing about dogs, are they will do anything to please, and like humans,  we can do that, we might have a list of things to do. and we do need to do them.
But sometimes we do commit to much on our plate, and sometimes we miss the point, or we face things in life that we don't really know, what to do or find a way forward.


Listening, to God, reading the bible, going to a good church, and church friends. if you're not happy in the church, find one that works.


My friend, if you are walking around looking for answers, pehaps we need to be on the look out, for them, if it's blessing a person at work, that is on your heart to bless, rather than tear down cause that is what is happening to you, bless them. bless them bless them.





And pray for a way out,  ''what?" yes, pray on your knees for an answer.

And that is what Jeremiah does, all through the book, we find what courage he has, and we have that same courage my friends.



You're not going alone, you're not doing this alone, you have the holy spirit in you, and you will rise above whatever you're facing.

Letting God do his work in you, so that you can heal, choosing him, to do whatever it takes so you can see the beauty of being broken before the lord, and letting him heal you.


Jesus, is bigger than anything you're walking through right now.

And he will give you the desires of your heart, he hasn't forgoten you.

Chloe

First things first

Hello there.

Today as I write this, I am sitting at the kitchen table, with another cup of strong coffee, and looking out over the city.

It is the first day of winter, in Dunedin nz, and the sky is so blue, and there's not a cloud in it. It is also queens birthday this weekend, and typically after that the weather does turn sour for winter.

But I'm going to enjoy today, and I hope that you are too.

Make sure you enjoy the weekend whatever your up to, if it's work enjoy it.
If you're not enjoying where you are, at the moment, find ways to bless people.

You don't know what goes on, in their lives, being kind to them might only be the chance they get, to have something nice happen in their lives.

It might be that you need to pull back on some comments, or it might be that you need to pull your sock up and do your job, and stop being lazy.

It might be that you need to move totally out of that place where you are, and just extend yourself, yes moving away makes your grow up, explore different ideas, find what God is really saying to you.

I was at the beach the other day, just talking to my friend in timaru, we were both going out that night at the same movie time to see the same movie but in different towns.

As I looked over the waves, I just let all the worries, and the things inside, just take hold, and surrended them to the waves, letting them take them in and out, far far away.

I am an over thinker, some people call me a ''mother''  have you got this, have you got that, how much sleep are you getting at night? are you cold? do you want food? have you got enough?

 Yes, I am always asking questions.

And if something is wrong I want to fix it.

I'm a girl, not like my brothers, I am not a man, I  don't have an accounting digree, or a digree in journalism.

I am a chef, a baker, a home maker, a chief irioner,  a duster, a gardener,   and I work in a kitchen where there's only guys.
and yes I do feel like Daisy in Downtown abbey at times.

If money wasn't an issue, I'd support right now a work friend to go professonal  in ice hockey.

But first things are put first, why?

Because God made me to care, that's why.

I want to share with you, a story, that my dad told me, when I was sitting on the floor a bit sad for myself, looking around at the marvoulous things that my friends are doing, and wondering where my time will come.

I believe it's soon.


Anyway this story.

It was back, in perhaps the 1940s, where my uncle used to play rugby, for his school boy team, X11 and all that.

My dad and his brothers had a very kind person in their lives, called ''uncle Stan''  who wasn't a real uncle just a business man who liked my dad and his brothers.  The rugby team had their tournement coming up, and it was away from hastings.
So instead of fundraising for it, uncle Stan came up with cash, which was quite a bit, and put it in a bag in the kit, and walked away, he paid for every single boy to go away and play rugby in that tournament.

Someone in the team, stole that money, and you guess it,  the dissapointment of those boys, was very low.

What did uncle Stan do?

He went away, took out more cash, that was needed, and  did the same thing, walked over and put that cash, in the bag, and paid for those boys to go away and play in the tournement.

When we are in the middle of it all, and we step back, what would you have done?

Would you get annoyed and point the finger, and say " well that's it, nice try Bucko?"  or would we do what Uncle Stan did?

Not let it get to us?

We can only do so much because we are human, we can only achieve so much because we aren't super heroes, and God if we wanted us  to be super heroes, would have made us born with capes, and with powers.

But we have powers, we have the power of Christ in us, no matter what sort of situation we are in, no matter if we fight, and we keep fighting, and we find out that we can't do it, because we weren't made to fight.

If people care about you, and are worried, not as in knuckle bitting, haven't slept for a month worry, but are Godly  concerned, about you, then let them.

They aren't doing it to annoy you, just let them in, it doesn't really need to be much, just a crack, and a bit of trust.

 cause chances are my friend, you and I know, that we are blind to the signs, and our friends might just be looking out for you, cause they pick them up on their radar.

So be an ''uncle Stan'' today, without counting the cost.

May thoughts.

Hello, my dear friends.
How are you?
I hope that you're having a nice thursday, nice to know that it's friday tomororw and that you have weekend.

I hope that you've got something nice planned for it.
Perhaps it's picking up something, that maybe you haven't done for a long time, or supporting a team at a sport, perhaps it's just getting the family together and just having those good talks.

Perhaps you're burning the mid night oil, morning oil, day time oil to get things such as assignmements done.

One thing I miss about tec is the study, you always feel so good after assignments are finished, completed, and you've done the best possible job, of them. I miss that.

I'm not studying at the moment, will be in July, I've made up my mind, not to stick around with too much time on my hands. because when you have heaps of spare time, in cold winter days with not a lot to do, all you want to think about is bed.

It's so easy isn't to think about yourself,  when you have heaps of time to kill.

It's not that it's a burden infact far from it, it's a blessing, you can do whatever you'd like to do.

infact winter is a good time to take stock, to see what is out there for the next year.

I was talking to my friend at work, recently, a very bright happy person, who makes me coffee, in a large cup.
 and I asked him what were his goals, cause at the time I didn't really have any.

and this young chap, said he'd like to get back into ecomonics,  and one day I hope that he will, as he has some really great business ideas for work.

He has put them on hold at the moment, because of an accident, which was no fault of his own, and at the moment he can't study for too long, or else he gets sick, because it's to much infomation to take in.

That got me thinking, not only as writer,  but as a christian, we are constantly under watch of others, in extremely divereve things, when the heat is really right up in your face, when the battle is really on, not like fighting with Lego pieces, but when you're in the middle of it all.

How do you respond, when stuff hits the fan?

Are you constantly trying to add up to measrue up to others around you?

or are you trying to go it alone?

Where do you get your strength from?

Self  belief?

Or self denial?

Time poor?

Or time conscience?

How we go about these things do matter to God, he's not up there in those  '' just incase we need them situations.''

he's there allt he time, when we need him, when we need strength, when we just need to know someone cares.

 and make friends that do care, you can be the most confident person, in the world and still be lonely.

In this searching mode, that I find myself in, I find that I can't be complacient, I can't just let life stop, it is always changing I have to change with it.

Set goals for yourself, durring the day, week, year,  that you want to do, you might not get through all of them, but you'll find a complete satisfaction in doing so.

ones that are for yourself, others for other people, you might even find yourself doing something so different for not any particular reason.

 just cause it's fun.

Well that's me, and my thoughts for May.
Chloe

Have you ever?

Good afternoon my friends.
How are you all going  there?

I hope that you're having a good day.

I've entitled this post, Have you ever, because I was recently challenged in my place of work.

The fact was, that there was a problem accruing, and to me it wasn't getting sorted out, so I wrote a letter, explaining how I saw the situation.

I was angry, with how it was going, everyone could see it, but nothing was done about it, so I thought I'd jump in, and just let it all out on the page.

I thought, that I was right, but in the end I was hurting more people in the process.

There is a party game called " have you ever'' and perhaps you've played it, perhaps not.

The human race is full of faults, and yes I am willing to put my hand up and addmit that what I did was wrong.

I was looking into the mirror of what others thought should happen, and not God's mirror, that reflected me on my judgment.

So we need to be really careful of how we go about things, and if we're getting worn down by others, go to God, leave it at his feet, and in his hands, rather than, ''going in with all guns blazing.'' which might be a short fix to the problem.

A friend, told me to do something recently, when I told him about what I did, and I did what he said to do, go to the mirror and really see me, for what I was.

I found out, that I looked tired, and unhappy.

see a mirror reflects the honesty in ourselves,  a mirror is honest, there is no falseness, or pretending that things are good, when they're not.

If they aren't then go back and really,  find out what really has been going on, perhaps it's ignoring the fact that things aren't good.
it is going to hurt, it's going to really be painful, and there will be scares  emotnally, perhaps phyically, but we know that we are made stronger, in our weaknesses.

Chloe

learning from mistakes

Recently, I went to watch an ice hockey game.
Thrilling fun it was too.
Why you might ask?
 just to do something a bit out of the norm, a bit different, and to enjoy the sport.

As I sat there, watching a team play, it was like my life, being played out, sometimes you're in the game, hard out, and you need your players to back you, or mark out depending on the sporting term.
 and we don't do it alone, because we have the team members.

Sometimes we do have to move ourselves and believe in ourselves, that we can acutally do somethings.

And that means using our voice, and speaking up. not in a hash way, but with love and respect.

What do we think about grace? or do we just ignore the fact that we need it, and that we should be nice to people, who need help?

do we need to take a step back, realize that things aren't working, and stop getting so up tight about what's going on?

What is going on in your life?

Have you get somethings that you've held on for way to long? are you always putting up, and putting in the hard yards while others are lazy?

have you meant well, but it's just come out in a huge big mess?

In a world that is so self relient on how our image is? or how we portray ourselves, we label ourselves in ways that we make ourselves?
 we market what we want to do, and how we are going to use it.

how is that helping our team players? or the people around us that think we are Christians but when they hear about what we say they guess our goodness?

We can't be clean, on the inside and dirty on the outside, you have to make a concience effort, not to be like that.

because that is how the world sees you, and we are in the world but not of it.

Referring to the game of ice hockey, it's a pretty tactical sport, so we need to be tactual on how we live, we need to be intentionally  telling the truth, and be aware of the presence of God in our lives.

Whatever your doing, be intentional about it,  make friends intentional, talk intentionally always seasoned with salt, that is a challange for me.

use your time wisely. study well, and get the most out of God's life that he has for you.

And don't give even one whisker of doubt that you can't be on anyones team because you can.

Chloe

enquiring of the Lord.

Have you ever been in a place, that makes you think, and act in a way, that is compromising?

Each and every single day we're up against all sorts of things, things that shape our character, things that are good for us like good company, compassion, good things.
What about the things that you know that are in the back of your head, and you're wondering what to do about it?


I recently went to a career advisor, to see what I should be doing.
It was good. and perhaps your studying, perhaps your wanting to do something really big, or maybe God has told you to slow down a bit.

You don't have to go full force into things, trying to break the speed of sound.

I was lying in bed this morning, thinking about my day, thinking about my little sponcered boy, Antony, who is only 2 and wondering what sort of day he'll be having, praying that he will be playing safely at his home. I smile at how cute he really is, so smilely in the photograph so happy to be alive.

I was thinking about my work, and why people work them so hard, too hard sometimes, so that people don't get a day off.

I was thinking about attitudes and what mine is like, see if you have a good attidute you've won most of the war that is going inside.

People want to be near you, sure you don't have to put it on sure you're going to have down days, but put on a garment of praise, thank the Lord for what you have, than rather the things you don't have.

 and pray for the things that you don't have, and look out and be active to have them come your way.

Back in biblical times, kings would ask subjects to go and "enquire  of the Lord''  very readily,  if was going into battle or staying home, if something cropped up, they would go into a room and stay there and just ask the Lord.

Sometimes we need to do that, somethings are hard to understand, to grasp, and yes sometimes love does hurt, and sometimes, you can't always fix the other person, and as much as it hurts you, you have to seek the lord and let it go.

And that is a progress, that is a working thing in life, it's one of those things that  you breathe a sigh of relief, and think it's over, but no another form comes it's way to you.

GOd is making you couragous to stand up against the crowd and against the things of this world.

Where others may think you're weak, you know deep inside you've got grit and you've got what it takes to stand.

A lot of times, we just stay and we just keep doing the status quo, because that is what we've always done,  and we think safely, if we do this plan, then that plan won't fail, and if we do plan B, then plan C won't fail.

Do you get it?

You and I are simply just going around in circles.

like muddy tires on a 4wd drive truck, stuck in rivets.

Life isn't suposed to be like a sunday afternoon drive,  in a self driven Tesla.

Life isn't like a computer, or facebook, where you can live very safely, chatting to friends, because they are your friends, and you hardly go out, because well why bother because everything is on the net.

Joyce Meyer said once, if the horse has been dead for 10 years, why are we still riding it?

We all need change, change is good,  like a landscaper gardener, who works in the winter to design a garden for spring/ summer, does he put down his tools when it gets tough, cold and dark and dirty and heads inside gives up?

No, he goes about his job, because someone is paying him/ her to make a garden.

We need to be mindful of the habbits we have got ourselves into,  it could be sulkyness, it could be punishing the other person, it might even be the cold shoulder.

miss trust,  for whatever reasons reasons I don't need to know, it could be that you're working in an extremly toxic enviroment, and when you have that, you think everyone is against you. it's not until you get out of it, that that was or wasn't the case.

You are not designed to fail, you are designed to thrive.

So make good changes, in your life, good things that will make you grow, it might be a gradual thing, it might just be building the structure, putting down the things, that are foundations for now, and let others come and help you build  on that.

See a tree or shurb that is in wet clay stinky soil, can't do much. infact it will not produce, flowers or fruit.

Lift it up, transplant it, fertilize it, it will never look back.

Don't keep looking back over your shoulder, in fear, and miss trust, because you will miss the things to look forward to.

And there are many.

So my encouragment today, is go close yourself in a quiet place, put asside paper work, assignments and enquire of the lord.
do it daily and you will grow, and you will hear his voice, on what do, and once you have heard his voice, not just daily, not just when you feel like it, or when things get hard, tough, and you're in that 4wd drive truck stuck in rivets, not going anyway.


God is the jack, to lift you up, to come to your rescue and to be saved out of every situation.


Big, small, really tiny, or so big it takes all your mind up durring the day.


he will come, it's up to you if you trust him enough, to lift your " wheels'' and get you started out of that mess, and trust him.

Speaking hope.

Lately, I've been challanged in my own walk in life, that it is so easy to listen, and to be swayed by what others think, and what we should do.
SO much so, I was living my life on the lives of gossip, and I was really fretting on what my life is like.

The more, we look inward on ourselves, the bigger the pitty party that the Devil holds.

I was at a time, in my life recently, that somewhere,  along the lines. I was lost in it. I wasn't depressed, I was really unhappy with how things were.

Things weren't lining up, work got even more stressful, I just wanted to through it all in and run away, very humanly.
I looked at the roster, at work, and that was it, I wanted out.
I was looking at my own, strength, and I was thinking, I have to keep this up.
gradually, my sprituial walls were down, and I was like a  life raft in a raging storm, floating out to sea.

I wanted something more to life, tear fund, was my answer.
My dad, always said, think of others, and I just did that.

I read through, the news letter, and there was a little boy of 2 years old, waiting to be sponsored.
I picked him up,  and he arrived today.
Whatever you may think, your plan C might be God's plan A.

Look around, you and ask yourself, within your work place, how can you improve it?

How can you raise up to the challange, to learn and to extend yourself, so that others, can see your light that you're shining.

Other people might like it "Play it safe.'' you might think, that '' that person might deserves it.''

Not neccersarly.

Don't go after man's wisdom go after Jesus, capture him, take him, into your heart, and mind.
Ask him, in everything that you're doing now, how can I benefit others in what I do.

Be couragous, be his, be the truth, because lets face it.

It might be the only chance they get.

Do they want to hear it, it's up to them, and it's up to God, but at the right time, you will grow.

Think of bulbs, they have to be asleep in the ground cold and damp, for all of winter, and when the weather warms up. up they pop.
Never ever, through away, your tallent, don't say that you're not good enough.
You are on God's team.
God has chosen you to be his.
And nothing will ever pluck you out of his palm, his hand is large enough he is big enough to take all the things that you are going through right  now, and he'll take them, and make them work.

You don't need to keep striving.

Chloe

Trusting God, no 2.

Have you ever been in a space, where all of sudden, things  just get on top of you?

There aren't enough hours in the day, to do things.

You're working all the time, and if you're not at work, you take work home with you and do it. Then you have the obligations, to do extra work.
Eventually, it becomes a cycle, like your on some sort of mouse excersice ring, and you are spinning around and around, and you can't get off.

Until it spins out of control and you'll be off the wheel before you know it.

You close yourself off because it's like the work that you do, is talking to you. " you're suposed to be with me.''

I'm not saying that you should do work, it's a good thing to do. because you're adding to yourself, your abilites. your goals, and the Lord loves that.
Sometimes we put our work, in boxes, soemtimes we don't believe that our work counts.

It all counts.

If we didn't have jobs, there wouldn't be anything to do.

We'd be walking around like bored zombies.

And sometimes, very much we think and we dream up all these things, like if I had more money, or if all of sudden I'd go to the mail box, and there would be a cheque in there from a wealthy person, and I'd be set up for life.

Stats tell us, the people who won the most amount of money, in lotto, go bankcrupt within a year.

You might think, " I'd keep working part time, and put it in the bank or spread it around so it would grow slowly.'' good thinking, but that can only get so far, and it won't get you good friends, or good advice.

We all will come to a point in our lives, where we are asking ourselves, "What next.'' will a new job, make us happy, will retraining, or going onto further training, within our field of work, make us more successful?

That is only up to you and God, I can't answer that question.

The more we use social media, the more we get so engrossed in our unhappiness.

We can start to live our lives, through facebook, or social media.
because we have to see who "liked'' or commented, or shared our post, even the little smiley face can be enough to release endorphins in our brains and make our day.

We need to start using our heads creatively, to lessen our time, on face book.

So if you're a bit lost, with what to do,  go get your bible, and get down on your knees and ask God for his plan for your life.

hope and trust

Recently I talked about a recent thing I was going through.
It wasn't a health issue, perhaps not even that hard.
And I had another phone call, from the person, who couldn't understand why.
I had no real idea what to do, perhaps I lead him along, perhaps it was my fault.
I ran to my room, and just cried on my knees, and asked to be released from this.
Now for every guy out there, this wasn't love, but clearing someone was in love with me.

My prayer was, simply this.

"Dear Jesus, you're a man, and I hope that I haven't told you where to go, or what to do, I'm really sorry if I did, I don't want this, it's scary, and I don't want to always tell guys off.'' -Amen.

A friend, gave me a Christmas decoration, it's got "hope"  on it.

Now for whatever matter, you need to know, that there's hope, perhaps it's for a situation, you've found yourself in, perhaps you didn't know what sort of situation. perhaps someone got the wrong end of the stick.

You are not limited by your chains that you wear, earth has no sorrow that heaven can cure.

weather, it's letting go and letting God, perhaps you've been tired of all the other things that have been happening in your life, and it's left you pretty ragged.
I don't know, but I know this.

If you're in a struggle, and you're looking for hope, look to Him come to him, with everything open, trust him, to pick up the pieces, and just take them and let him make something new out of your brokeness.

You're going to be alright.
More than alright, come to the father, who has died, given his body for your brokeness.

Love is messy, and yes even bloody, because when Jesus died, he died unreconisable.

Lay asside every plan, every back up plan, and come and aline his plan with your plan.

Chloe

april thoughts.

Hello team.

Just wondering how you are getting on.

My thoughts, for april is, to stand firm and once you've stood firm keep standing.

This might be going with your ''gut feeling'' or it might be going with "God's feeling.''

Recently, I was on line, and I am now very wary of talking to people, via socail media.

Why?


Because, it is dangerous, how dangerous?

Extremly.

You see, not all people but some, can very easily, say the right things, at the time.

and people can use your vunnerbility, to their advantage.

And this is what happened to me.

I got all caught up, in all of this, not knowing how caught up in conversations, and a phone call.

Until it was all over, and I could clearly see, how pure evil, it really was.

See the devil loves condemnation, and worthlessness.
he feeds on it.

and he was working through this person, to make me feel helpless.

My friend if you're caught up in something that you know that is wrong, and you know it's wrong, turn back, and tell someone, tell the police.
tell someone you can trust.

And get it sorted out.

Jesus, has carried this problem, feeling, or whatever you have, on his shoulders, it was dead with him on that cross, and nothing, nothing will bring it back.

It is earaised, dead, never to be repeated.

It will not find you again.

And you do you know what?
Jesus will take you back, again, and again, and again.

He is the only one that can do.

He does set you free of all the things that you can't understand, and yes, perhaps someone has used you, perhaps you didn't know until you had a gut feeling.
 what ever it is, tell him. and live the life in freedom.

Be always on your guard though, because when you stand firm,  you can, but when another storm comes, and perhaps it will be '' the storms, of all storms'' you might think.

Jesus is there, walking through it with you.

Chloe