Beautifully broken

Hi there.

How are you?
 I hope that you're having a  nice day, after all the snow, that has come, the wind and the sunshine has come out and it has all ready melted away.

I recently had 5 glorious days, up in Timaru, it was such an encouraging time, going to church, was a high light, going to a musical concert, was amazing, and hanging out with some really good friends.

I really loved it,  and sometimes we need to have those days when we just enjoy the moment without having, any plans.

And forgive me friends ,if some of my posts feel like the same thing over and over. One thing that I have learnt recently is, that no matter if you're contantstly battling, with somethings that you just can't face,  or go through, and no matter if you're wondering, why, or what, or how.
The lord above knows, and you might think, ''yeah, people always say that, just to make me feel better.'' but really it is true, beause you are a child of God, you're still a child of God, no matter what you've done, whatever your sickness is  no matter what you're doing, how you are right now, doesn't determine your outcome.

You are no longer a slave to fear,  there is no fear in Jesus.

His love is so vast, and his kindness, is so big, that you can't measure it.

And some of you need to know, to take people's kindness, and their love because they love you.

It might take  some time to accept that,  but they are wanting to bless  you because you bless them.
And you  are doing it not because they are your friends, but you're doing it for God.

Soon, I will be packing up my room, and moving down south, to carry on my career, and learn. I don't know what is laying before me, but all I know, is God is good, and there's no where I can't hide, from God, and trusting God.

But we can't just say we're trusting God, with out actively doing something.
So when does the rubber hit the road?

When we are intentional, and we do something about it.

Instead of blaming, the past, we're looking to the future,  what has happened has happened, but we're past that, our past doesn't define us any longer.

Remember the people in the bible, the great people in the bible, and the lady with the oil, she had nothing, and the authorities, were coming to take everything away, even her son into captivity.

What did she have?
she had one little dish of oil, that was it.

What happened to that oil?

The man of God, came and blessed that oil, and she managed to sell it, to pay off her debts, and her whole life was turned around.

But it doesn't end there, it comes up in other areas in the bible, simply because of obedience.
We need to be obedient to things that God calls us to do, and that means, doing it.

Because you know, that you are called to do it, live without limits, we often put limits on ourselves, we often think this is safe, and we think it's safe beause that it all we know.

And that only works so far.

We serve a an UNLIMITED  God,  who breaks every chain of bounadge, of fear, of miss trust, of whatever your doing, he turns that into the oppososite.

We don't need to have goal charts to please him, we dont need megaphones to shout at him, we just need to be slient, before him, to wait for his voice, to tell us what to do.

And what does he want us to do?

walk humbly before him,  no great smoke machines at worship, no mirriors,  no church is better than the other ones in town.
He just wants us to walk humbly and roll up our sleeves and start to serve, serve people where they are at in life.

And walk beside them.

That is all that is required of us.

I'll think about you.

One of my favourite songs, are from ''we are messengers''  '' I'll think about you.''

Why because it reminds me of the  love of Christ, and the hope that we have, that no matter what we're doing, no matter what we're facing, Christ thinks about us.
I recently had 5 days away, it was great to see old friends, to catch up with new ones, and to get encouraged, by going to 2 different bible groups.

One special one, and you could do it with a bunch of friends, is, to get a small note book, and in the back you write what you see in yourself, and your friends write in the front about how you see your friends, not only is it portable, but very encouraging if you're moving away or starting something new, or going through a really tough time.

My dears, if you are that person today, know that the lord, is always with you, that he doesn't give up on you, that you're always on his mind, and love and hope, is yours today.
it might sound cliche, it might  seem a bit untrue, you might even wonder why, I'm not totally sure, but you're not alone.

Not even sickness  can, seperate us from the love of God.

So today's post is short and sweet, build up and encourage yourself in the lord.

Chloe

you will get your break through

Hi there,
How are you?
I hope that you're having a really nice day.
It is still foggy mist, here.

My friends, I want to share with you, some of the thoughts that I have.

No matter if you're in your ''valley'' on on the mountain tops, no matter to what you do. God is good, and perhaps that's all you need to know right now.

I was thinking in bed the other day, about how God will answers my prayers,  it seemed all that was happening were that they were hitting the celling and bouncing back down. as if to say '' I told you so.''

Perhaps you're walking up stream, perhaps you've gone '' All in'' and you're wondering where you are going, my friend, keep walking, keep the faith, keep the spirit of God in you.

Keep it alive, encourage yourself, in good people, that will, help you, that will love you, that will always be there for you, even if, yes even if it's risky.


Why? because you know, above all, that it was worth it, and you might be the ''rope'' to other people to haul them up when it all gets a bit too much.

Because you know, you've been there, and done that, an no matter what happens, in your work, your home, no matter in your study, when you're going all out, and you are just plain tired, of the merry go around,  you keep holding on, because someone does believe in you along the way.

Soon, very soon, I'll be packing up my room, and heading south to do cookery,  I've found a really neat place to live, and I'm excited about what is going to happen.

Why at the age of 30 go and do it?

Because we all need to keep learning, if we don't, we just don't grow, we don't move forward in the faith, we sit around waiting for something to happen.

That was me,  I was happy to keep waiting, happy, to just wait for the phone to ring, and not to anything while my garden grew even more weeds.

If you have ''weeds'' in your life, things that sap your energy, or that things that you've once enjoyed , just for a while you haven't. keep your eyes open to make new friends, new jobs, new things.

Keep pushing yourself, in the things that you do enjoy, make new activities, that perhaps you wouldn't even consider in doing.

Our family has a rule, if you're feeling a bit sad, help someone else out.
  it does work, even if it's the dishes, even if it's a meal, or just folding the washing, it means so much for that other person.

You will get your break through, God will give it to you, without strings attached.

I was cleaning out my draws the other day, and I found a suside letter,  that I wrote, why you might ask?

Because I was under the influence of evil? I just couldn't help but think, the earth was better without me.  I'm not needed so therefore I'll go and do it.

But your a Christian you might say, yes, even Christians, suffer from  susidal thoughts, and it wasn't just daily, these were over years.

I had a demon of death, and yes even on good days, it would come and haunt me.

Prayer, lots and lots of prayer, and telling others my thoughts, and have them pray for me.
 that is how I conqured it.

So no matter what you're going through, no matter if you think, '' it can't be done.'' no matter if others think you're crazy, and ask if you're feelling ok.

You will get your break through and it will be massive.

complete and utter mess.

Hello

Well the sunshine is out, and the washing is drying on the line, and the city is bright and clear, and it didn't freeze over night.

Today  I want to share with you, something that is close to me.
 Because we know we don't struggle alone.

And as I write this, I am in my Pjs, listening to some west life.

I'll get going eventually.

I've found out, that I'm enjoying my life, right now. I am.

I was talking to a friend, who is still very close to me, and she said that other friends don't ring, her, I do. there's something about hearing someone's voice on the end of the phone, but I do get it, because she's getting married, and to us single people, we sort of think that there's a new life about to start, so we stay away.

I'm also going for a new job,  as a baker and hopefully using my skills, that I learn t last year.

We are also opening up a new business, in town, so that has added, extra stress but also blessings.

Sometimes we need to believe ourselves that we need to do it, not proving to anyone, because that gets us no where.

if you're always proving, to someone you'll never really get there, because the bar will be always set to high.

At the gym, how do we train? do we go all in, and then stop?

lets face it, we convince ourselves that we don't need  to go,  but when we go, we come out amazing, because we've given our bodies the freedom to exercise, and we know if we're all venting up inside, like a volcano, inside, something is about to give.

We all need those stable friends in our lives, that look out for us,  and sometimes yes it means going to councilling, just to make sure we're not lossing our minds.

What I say, what I write, how I work, isn't easy, inface it's really hard for people, to understand. I say things out loud which are my thoughts,  then if I see someone who's down, well they need to be fixed,  I'm completly, Mad, and infact, yes truth be told I'm unstable in my thoughts.

And if people get in on that, they make it so much bigger than it is, and I'm all caught up in it, the latest one is me being called an count of some description, that I'm coming back to save the people out of work.

That messes with me, so much because I really want to. as you can see I take things very literally, which is funny to the person, but extremely dangerous for me.
My nature is a bit like a basset hound, others can see that I'm getting pushed around but my basset hound nature just sits down and takes it.



Because normal people live normal lives and they can pick up what is, and what isn't.

And here's me trying to make sense out of it all,  I want to make everything better, but I know full well, I can't always wave a magic wand over that person and fix it all.

So my readers, I haven't been this honest for a while, but these are the things that I am going through right now. and if you're going through something totally similar, you'll make it out the other end alive.

God will never give up on you, my friend, he will never let you go.


Off for a run.

C

seeing the truth for what it is.

Hello there my friends.
How are you?
i hope that you're having a really  nice day.

Today's  weather in Dunedin is quite rainy, with hail, and there's snow on the ground.

I am listening to a document y about P.L Travers.

If you know about Mary Poppins, you'll know a bit about P. L Travers.

Today I want to talk about the truth, because there are many things, that blind us from seeing it.

It might be that you are looking for the truth, in some sort of way.

Pilot struggled with seeking the truth, in fact he asked Jesus what is '' the truth''

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.

We know, if we don't have that, we are merely, just making do, or getting by.

If we loose sight of the truth, we loose sight of what we are in ourselves.

And the truth is different to different people, how we live our lives, what we do with it, how we go about it from day to day.

So we are put here on earth to look after it, to love people in the truth and to do good, not harm, to live life to the fullest.

Our jobs are different, you might be a nurse, you might be in physio, you might be a cafe worker, a chef, you might right now be at the pinnacle of your life, you've reached the top in everything, but yet feel empty.

I'm not to sure, but what I know, is that we  don't struggle alone, and we're not put on earth to struggle, and you might be thinking to throw in the towel now, to really give up, to just throw everything away.

Why?
Why do you want to do, that?

you might think '' you have no idea what it is like?''  you don't know that every morning I have to go and do this job, which I really am not coping in.
My friend, take courage, because it's because of them, you are to serve.

And if you don't go to work, who else will?

some lazy person, who does only the bare essentials, and only getting by, leaving the rest of the people dry.

You are better than that, my lovelies.

Have you ever been caught out in a hail storm? or in town on a really wet day?

you've got your coat on, you're rushing around trying to get to your car, and you think that the sunshine, isn't coming out, only to find perhaps maybe 45 minutes later after that storm the sun does?

That is what the truth is, and some times we need to tell it.

Sometimes yes, other people do need to know the truth, sometimes they only need to know it in secret.

My brain is damaged, dead in places,  I bet myself up so much over the years, about this, I worried sick, what parts were dead, brain damaged? was it all of it, where was it?
Was it better to have a disability, that people could see rather have an internal one?

Then the Lord spoke the truth to me, I was made in his image, with his fingers carefully molding me, and he knew about my brain, and he knows my thoughts, even my anxious ones, he knows what I want in life, he believes in me.

And sometimes we need to believe in ourselves, we really do need to stop ''beating around the bush, and stop beating ourselves up.''

so many times I've beaten myself up, because of what home life was like, so many times I've beaten myself up because of gossip, so many times, I've worried about what I was like as a kid, all frustrated,  it is now that I am ok, with my life.

I mentioned P. L Travers, earlier, because she was famous writing the most beloved book of all time Mary Poppins.

She also struggled hugely, with the truth, with trusting people close to her life,  she wanted, a life full of good things, so she made up a fantasy world, to live in.

What I didn't know about her, was that she adopted a little boy, who was a twin, she so wanted to have children and this was one way of getting her wish.

She also adopted her maid as well, some people might think that she was made, she suffered from depression, however she also had huge ''highs'' as well.

one thing about her little boy, was that he always grew up not knowing the truth, about the second brother. she had always kept it a secret.

Maybe it was to protect her, maybe she was in her 30s and thought that life had passed her by, we aren't to know.

But we are to know, that if we know the truth, for ourselves, for other people, for knowing God, it is to set us free.

Take care and keep warm.

Chloe

Hi there,
How are you getting on?
It's cold in dunedin, so I've got the fire going.
I do hope that you're somewhere nice and warm.

Today I caught up with a friend, and her dog, who yes, carries his own toy in his mouth all the way home.

Lately I've been learning things, some deep things, some things I am going to let go.

And as I threw this toy as far as I could for the dog to fetch, this dog, would run past the toy, run back get it and bring it back, and as the dog got more tired, the further away the toy got from my feet.

My friend, are you that person?
Are you tired and weary, perhaps you've got some big things, in life that might be ''thrown at you'' like the toy, and you might run, after that thing, in life, run past, pick it up and run back.

One thing about dogs, are they will do anything to please, and like humans,  we can do that, we might have a list of things to do. and we do need to do them.
But sometimes we do commit to much on our plate, and sometimes we miss the point, or we face things in life that we don't really know, what to do or find a way forward.


Listening, to God, reading the bible, going to a good church, and church friends. if you're not happy in the church, find one that works.


My friend, if you are walking around looking for answers, pehaps we need to be on the look out, for them, if it's blessing a person at work, that is on your heart to bless, rather than tear down cause that is what is happening to you, bless them. bless them bless them.





And pray for a way out,  ''what?" yes, pray on your knees for an answer.

And that is what Jeremiah does, all through the book, we find what courage he has, and we have that same courage my friends.



You're not going alone, you're not doing this alone, you have the holy spirit in you, and you will rise above whatever you're facing.

Letting God do his work in you, so that you can heal, choosing him, to do whatever it takes so you can see the beauty of being broken before the lord, and letting him heal you.


Jesus, is bigger than anything you're walking through right now.

And he will give you the desires of your heart, he hasn't forgoten you.

Chloe

First things first

Hello there.

Today as I write this, I am sitting at the kitchen table, with another cup of strong coffee, and looking out over the city.

It is the first day of winter, in Dunedin nz, and the sky is so blue, and there's not a cloud in it. It is also queens birthday this weekend, and typically after that the weather does turn sour for winter.

But I'm going to enjoy today, and I hope that you are too.

Make sure you enjoy the weekend whatever your up to, if it's work enjoy it.
If you're not enjoying where you are, at the moment, find ways to bless people.

You don't know what goes on, in their lives, being kind to them might only be the chance they get, to have something nice happen in their lives.

It might be that you need to pull back on some comments, or it might be that you need to pull your sock up and do your job, and stop being lazy.

It might be that you need to move totally out of that place where you are, and just extend yourself, yes moving away makes your grow up, explore different ideas, find what God is really saying to you.

I was at the beach the other day, just talking to my friend in timaru, we were both going out that night at the same movie time to see the same movie but in different towns.

As I looked over the waves, I just let all the worries, and the things inside, just take hold, and surrended them to the waves, letting them take them in and out, far far away.

I am an over thinker, some people call me a ''mother''  have you got this, have you got that, how much sleep are you getting at night? are you cold? do you want food? have you got enough?

 Yes, I am always asking questions.

And if something is wrong I want to fix it.

I'm a girl, not like my brothers, I am not a man, I  don't have an accounting digree, or a digree in journalism.

I am a chef, a baker, a home maker, a chief irioner,  a duster, a gardener,   and I work in a kitchen where there's only guys.
and yes I do feel like Daisy in Downtown abbey at times.

If money wasn't an issue, I'd support right now a work friend to go professonal  in ice hockey.

But first things are put first, why?

Because God made me to care, that's why.

I want to share with you, a story, that my dad told me, when I was sitting on the floor a bit sad for myself, looking around at the marvoulous things that my friends are doing, and wondering where my time will come.

I believe it's soon.


Anyway this story.

It was back, in perhaps the 1940s, where my uncle used to play rugby, for his school boy team, X11 and all that.

My dad and his brothers had a very kind person in their lives, called ''uncle Stan''  who wasn't a real uncle just a business man who liked my dad and his brothers.  The rugby team had their tournement coming up, and it was away from hastings.
So instead of fundraising for it, uncle Stan came up with cash, which was quite a bit, and put it in a bag in the kit, and walked away, he paid for every single boy to go away and play rugby in that tournament.

Someone in the team, stole that money, and you guess it,  the dissapointment of those boys, was very low.

What did uncle Stan do?

He went away, took out more cash, that was needed, and  did the same thing, walked over and put that cash, in the bag, and paid for those boys to go away and play in the tournement.

When we are in the middle of it all, and we step back, what would you have done?

Would you get annoyed and point the finger, and say " well that's it, nice try Bucko?"  or would we do what Uncle Stan did?

Not let it get to us?

We can only do so much because we are human, we can only achieve so much because we aren't super heroes, and God if we wanted us  to be super heroes, would have made us born with capes, and with powers.

But we have powers, we have the power of Christ in us, no matter what sort of situation we are in, no matter if we fight, and we keep fighting, and we find out that we can't do it, because we weren't made to fight.

If people care about you, and are worried, not as in knuckle bitting, haven't slept for a month worry, but are Godly  concerned, about you, then let them.

They aren't doing it to annoy you, just let them in, it doesn't really need to be much, just a crack, and a bit of trust.

 cause chances are my friend, you and I know, that we are blind to the signs, and our friends might just be looking out for you, cause they pick them up on their radar.

So be an ''uncle Stan'' today, without counting the cost.