enjoying what you are doing now

At church yesterday, we sang a song from Bethel music. called Way maker.

In it, we sung that Jesus is a way maker, healer, and even though it seems that we don't see him working in our lives, Jesus is constantly on the move.

He hasn't thrown in the towel, just yet, he is always working out things for the best.

And that is why we need to stop and enjoy the now, because we all know that the now, and the present time, isn't going to last forever.

I made inquires about course for next year, some are long distance, and some would mean I'd have to move down south. I haven't prayed about it,but I will.

How many things are you going through right now that you're wondering, if Jesus has stopped working in your life?

It might be a job, in a circumstance, in a friendship.
I had lunch with my best friend Mel and Phil, and her family a few months ago, I asked Katie, about surrendering, and it's sometimes the hardest thing to do, we have to surrender to Jesus every day, and what happens if we dont?

Is our day going to go down the drain? would it be made that much harder?

Is Jesus really like that?

I don't believe so, I don't believe he's out there to make our lives hard.

Because we don't surrender to him. I used to think like this, but that is because I didn't fully believe that Jesus would be happy to take my stuff.

It got me thinking about, about the break down in relationships. why is there so much pain in our world?

why do we do the things we do time and time again?
It's because we find it hard to trust, and why trust in a God we don't see?

Relationships, take work, they really do, nothing is going to come on a silver platter, we need to work with our family and friends.

And if you're not in a good space now, because of the friends that you do have.
 change friends you don't have to keep them just because.

Jesus hung out with the people of the day, he called the 12 who were mostly fishermen, and fishermen, weren't exactly rich.

Jesus had a day job he was a builder and carpenter, he made things with his hands.
My question is, what has God given you, today, this very moment, into your hands, that are just sitting there doing nothing?

It might be a dream goal to work towards, it might be that thing that you've always wanted to do.
Talk to people that are living their dreams, and your dream. Always be on the look out to move forward.
Talk to people who motivate you, and inspire you, if they don't move on, to people who do.
Chloe


,

burn the ships.

Hello, how's it going?
I hope that you're going well.
I've been thinking about, somethings lately.
I hope that you're enjoying the afternoon.
Today, we had my brother around and we played a game of settlers.

Perhaps you're in a cosey corner, with a cup of tea, on a well deserved break.

I want to talk about "burning the ships." you might wonder how did I settle on the name for this post?

Well it comes from, a song from king and country, ''burn the ships.'' in it, they sing about not looking back. and they share the story of a man, and his army, going fourth to explore new land, upon this, the commander of the army, commanding his admirals, to burn the ships very literately so that they could not go back.

You might think that is very drastic, and extreme, and perhaps it is. perhaps you've got things in your life,  and you're on that boat, and you are thinking about ''burning the ships'' perhaps you're making choices that aren't the wisest. perhaps you've got further study to do, and if someone takes that spot, will you regret it?

Hope is always rising.

It might not look like much, but wait a little and watch the flicker your flicker that you've got, and watch it turn into a blaze.

Even if you think you're finished, you're not by a long shot.

It is all easy when life is going well, which is great, we all need life to go well for us, but what about those blue days?
those days when you're reminded that it's not over, that maybe you're optimistic perhaps, and perhaps you've taken a nose dive down?

And you don't know, if you can find your way back up.

As you go deeper down, and you look up and you find that you're drowning, in your need to be loved.

And not just friends on face book or polite conversations. but actual friends, who care.

Is something inside of you begging to be free?
Are you going to burn the ships or keep them close part of your safety go back plan.

Love alone is worth the fight.

what if, that love has gone?
What happens to others who move on, and you've stayed behind because of safety?
Are you afraid of trust?
Are you afraid of getting hurt again?

In my time in hospital, I was greatly aware of the need, of people, who are there to get well, if someone came up to me, now, and said ''Chloe, you're oging to have a break down, it will take a year to get better, you're here for 14 days.'' I'd probably tell you to quickly hop it.

I have help, but everytime I fall down, I fall hard, and reminded of what I've gone through.

I don't want to be reminded of what I've gone through, but sometimes we need to see, it for what it is.

Watching my family go through this, was hard, really hard, because you're away from home, and things are wiped from your mind.
I had to get back fast, I wanted to be on track, and I had simply fallen off them. this wasn't the plan, this was plan z in my plan.

Fortunately, the brain is a sponge, it recovers fast, and you're not locked up for weeks on end.

like the old days.

Thank God for that.

I'm not wanting to glorify of what I've gone through, I've got my own ships to burn.

And out of the ashes, comes the most amazing growing things.
I am still myself to this day,  nothing has changed, but my outlook for others.  I'm more patient now, before I got really impatient I wanted everything now.

I held everything up, I was proud of what others were doing but not me. and I am proud now, about the things I've done.

So I've burnt my ships,along the way, I needed to, I needed to close the doors to the past, I was living in the past.
I'm living in the now, now.
Chloe

Knowing your boundries.

Hello there,
I hope that you're having a nice day.
It's been wet and rainy, here for a week.
I haven't been able to do my horse ridding, or any thing particularly much due to the wet.

Freddy loves being out in the rain, he comes in, all wanting to be hugged, and it's like hugging a wet mop.
he comes in drenched.

We have just got a new mayor, which will be exciting, taking the city forward.

We all need boundaries, we all need to be in a position not to over commit, ourselves, we can easily burn out, and therefor get into a part in life, when we can think of throwing in the towel.

It has become to easy to think that was now, we think because we have the Internet, that life is made more simple, but it can also make us more over committed, to life.

So what do we do if we are stuck in a bind and we think that there's no way forward?

Do we tell people are stuck, or do we find it hard to come to the realisation, that we need a higher purpose in life?

Before my breakdown, I was somewhat unhappy upet all the time, always thinking people are at me, and if they aren't at me, they will be, I was taking far to much on.

My brain got to the point, where it had simply had enough.

What am I like now?

I am content in life, I am free from alot of things that I Needed to step back, and let go, I was holding far to much on.

I was living my life through facebook, and not having real friends.

Sure being is hospital, where things are taken away, I was running around outside looking for any way to escape, i was like a freightend  Mare, just pertried at very thing.

My head was like an uncoiled spring, bound up then suddenly let go.
it wasn't till I faced my fears straight on, that everything will be ok.

And if people judge let them, but don't let people get to you.

sure things get to me, all the time, but they aren't half as bad.

I'm not in control of things now as I once were.

What caused my break down?
No one knows, but only God.

It was the best experience I've ever had,I have a new brain, and a new mind, and that is a promise in the bible, fulfilled to me, by God.

I now have a planner which I use weekly, I am not in contact with people who drain me, and if I want to know how they are going, they are my friends.

Coming out the other side of this I could go about it 2 ways.
I could go down the bitter path, or or I could go down the path, that is new, exciting,  and different.

I am in a percentage, of New Zealanders, that have had one of these things happen, and it was a good breakdown, it wasn't scary, it was a reverlation from God, that I was going to be ok, right through it.

Others, find it hard to ajust to things, even keeping appointments, keep doing the same things, I had 2 weeks off the gym ( my down stage,) which the doctors said I would go through, it might be a year, but it was only 2 weeks, which I'm so thankful to God.

Some people, have terrible psychotic breakdowns. ( which is what I had.)
My one was a blessing, I was able to see what it was come to terms with it, not be upset, but be free.

My parents have learnt to trust me, which is hard for them, that it won't happen again.
 will it happen again?
 who knows but only God.

So if you're in a place, or space, where you're wondering where are you at the moment, if every little thing ticks you off, if you're crying more often, but don't know what my friend, if life is a bit to much, seek help.
easy to say, now, harder to do back then, I wasn't in a good space truthfully.
but I am now, I so am now.
Chloe

October thoughts.

HI there team,
How's it all going?
I hope that you're going well.
The rain has stopped,  making the air smelling lovely and sweet.

I was reading a story, that my brother Matt wrote about refugees, and the change it has taken from 30 years back.

It was inspring, and thought provoking, I have posted it on my facebook page.

And as I was waiting at the road works, today, it was thinking about my own life, as I was making my porridge. I have 2 brothers, and they have both traveled the world, and lived in different places.
I've always stuck close to home, moving away sometimes to follow some study.

We are all different to each other, Sam is very much into business, and runs a very successful gym. Matt is a journalist for Stuff.co.nz in the head office there.

And here is me, working as a baker, and enjoying my days off, filling it up with meeting people, and horse ridding.

My thoughts today, aren't based on anything particularly, just that it is important to take stock of what you're doing and where you're heading.

Making good, out of life, and taking a step back, and knowing that people are going to always be there for you, no matter what or where.

I do want to talk about something though, and that is, upon my scrolling on my facebook page, it is important to be careful about what we post, or put up, whatwe put into each other is what we put out,into others, not just what we use, or how we use it, but just be careful, because people do judge, and if they keep seeing the same things up, well what does that make you out to be?

If you're always talking about Sex, or ending life, or extremes, or whatever, you're putting yourself out to be extremely vulnerable, and we're born to connect, not just face to face, but through other ways, and if we're just hanging out for this or that, thinking it will ''satisfy, the thing, we're after, well does it really do that?"

Recently I had enough of something, and I just blocked this person, because I wasn't in the cappastiy to help, or was I called to be a rebounding board, and this went on for 4 years.

I was a mental wreck, I was so worn out, I just was at a loss everytime, I'd see this person, and in the end I had to walk away, and just get on with my own life.

You might think ''how selfish,'' you just can't do that.

My friend, we have times when we acutally have to do that, because it's not what God has called us to do, to be like basketball rebounding boards always taking knocks for the person.

But being kind, isn't always going to help that person, it might just be taking a step back, and that way it is being kind, Grace that is only from God to help and heal them, Us by ourselves can't do that.
We can't mentally, phsically, give that person, what they need.

They need to be in a space themselves, that triggers, a light. and in the mean time they are in the dark.

We're not suposed to be living in the dark, if you think about your own day, what does it consists of?

My day goes like this:

I wake up, and look at my planner, and go to the gym ( if it's tuesdays, I meet up with my sister in law,) and we have coffee, after the gym.
It is also horse ridding day, if the weather is nice, it's also time to meet up with mum and keep my commitments to her.

so most days I go to the gym, to work out, both mentally and pyshinly, I don't commit to things I can't commit to.


So Monday to Wednesday, nothing really changes, thursday friday, saturday I work at the bakery, and get paid for my job, I complete the jobs I've done and church on Sundays.
Again very careful of what I commit myself to do.

I go out and see my friends, sometimes, but again I'm not obliged to help or see them if I don't want to.

In this day in age, we have a mentallity, that we must always be there here and everywhere, and must be in other peoples lives.

No we don't.

It's only because if that person opens up themselves that we riducule them, and we in turn open our own selves up to do so.

I have learnt this the hard way, and it hurts, because i have trusted them, and have used it to ''better, themselves'' that is why I enjoy my horse work, because horses, go on so much, on engery, trust, they pick up what you're going through.

They will react to what you're reacting to.
Those are my thoughts for today.
Chloe