LIfe's lessons of horses.

Hello there,
Welcome to my blog.
I hope that you're enjoying your day, with a nice cup of tea, ( which solves many a thing.)

I was thinking the other day, of just stopping and pausing, and how sometimes we forget to take a breath and enjoy the moment.

I was out recently with my new sister in law, ( the lovely Jenna,  my oldest brothers wife.) and how she's part of the family now, I've waited a long time to have a sister, so I'm thrilled that Jenna is part of the family.
As I was waiting for her in a coffee shop here, in the octagon, I suddenly realised, that I haven't paused and enjoyed the moment in life.
I've been contantsly on the move, and just pausing and waiting is quite a gift and enjoying it, it was if Jesus just wanted me at his feet, looking down on me, going ''just stop for a moment, can you just stop and not rush around?" and that is what I was doing.

After my breakdown, I had to get a exit plan going on, and I can't tell you, when I was in that hospital, I was running around like a frighten mare, looking for anyway to escape. and when the professor, came to me, going you can go on monday, I wrote in my book '' monday release day.'' I had to do that to get my mind, in the right place.

I haven't done much of things I had planned to do, but one thing I've done, is taking up horse ridding lessons. I've always wanted to go horse ridding, and be good at it, since we have horse people in our family.
My great grandfather on my mother side was an excellent horse man, and my grandfather rode a horse to school,  and tied it up and rode him back, afterwards.

Horses are heard animals, once they accept you, you're part of the herd.

I  had to learn this, not just ''come here horsey, I have an apple for you.'' sort of thing. they have to communicate with you, through their body language, and series of snorts, and whinnies.

I was out on my friends horse farm, and watched the trot away on a river trec.

the wind was blowing their trees about, and the sun was out, and I thought ''this is the life''  and then there's James.
A through bred horse. who needs more food, than the rest because of weight gain, much like the protein shakes, that you drink after a work out to build muscle.

James wasn't for the track, he would panic, and he just simply would not race.
he would be beside himself, with panic attacks.
That is until, my friend got him, and put him in her school, to be a schooled horse.
It took a little while, for James to calm down, and take a saddle, and be part of the herd.

And that is where Jesus wanted me, perhaps you're reading this thinking ''yep I'm like James.'' of course your not a horse, but maybe you think that things have passed by you, you thought, thing would go this way or that way.
and you're not bred to race.
Maybe you're on a different track, from the one that Jesus wanted you on, and it's taken a while to get back, to where he wanted you, a sort of ''breaking in.''
thing going on.

We all need breaking in, it's part of his will for our lives, we can't bolt ahead, and think we're doing fine, when we're not.


To break in a horse, you need to be consistent, it's repetitive work.
not that I've done it, but the horse gradually becomes part of you. and bends to your will, but you also have to treat it nicely, and you have to daily put them to work, or else behavioural problems arrise.

They have to have paddock mates, so that they don't become bored, you have to do your part to look after a horse, you can't just neglect it.

Jesus is the only way, you can't have life and live how you want to live, if you don't have his will for your life.

You need to be broken into the ''holy spirit.'' and be under his will.

It may take a while, but the more you spend with him, the more you get out of live and live it to abundance.

Jesus wants you to live life to the full.

I was in my room the other day, just sulking, I was telling him, what was what.

To the point I was so unhappy, that I made up my mind not to go to the friends wedding, because of work, and that others are just '' giving everthing a go, and everything works out with them, but not for me.'' I was like a bolted horse.
running around, and in my suborness I was sinning. but yet, I was trying to be a good Christian.

And that is when Jesus came to me, and said ''Chloe you are sinning by trying to be good all the time, and I know the pefect plans, I have for you, plans to give you a hope and a furture, don't forget that.'' that instatly stopped my sulking, and I pulled up my socks, put my big girls undies back on, hitched them even higher, and worked harder, because Jesus has a perfect plan for you and for me.

I couldn't let down my friend now, because of well just feeling sorry for myself, wasn't an option, and big girls don't sulk, they cry sometimes, but they don't sulk.

Taking a step back, and looking at the behavior of horses, and to me, horses take a step back, and they think about what the human is asking them to do.
If it's good, they will do it, but treat a horse badly, they will remember.




And remember that Jesus is looking down on you too.

In your righteous do not sin.



That is me, and what I have been learning about today.

Chloe



,

Branded with God.

Hello there,

How's your day going?
I hope that you're having  a nice one.
I was out horse ridding, and as we warmed up the horse, it is important, to do so, before you hop on board, because it's just kinder on them to get them all warmed up.
It came across my mind,  as I watched this amazing paint bred horse warm up, always listening to the next command.
it was amazing to bring him in, from trotting, how we need to be in step with the holy Spirit.
''Trotting'' in step with him.
Sometimes we go around so down, and out, and ''All about me, what about me, no one cares.'' they do care, but you have to think about the other person.
You can't go through life with blinkers on, we all know that Life doesn't work like that.
Life can be unfair, it can be cruel, 99% of the time it is.
You're not always going to win.
With my horse work, I'm so proud of how far we've come, I really am.
If I go and let the horse just go where he wants, and do what he wants while he's with me, I'm showing him, he's the boss.
We both need boundaries, both for him and for me.
And horses respect that, you ask them to back up they do back up, the come forward on command, because you've asked them.
Sometimes in our lives, we get to a point where we ask God, lord if only you work in this area, not in that area, we are taking control, and we starve the holy spririt in our lives.

We treat the holy spirit like a horse on a lunge rope, only go so far and that is it.
Eventually, he doesn't work, and the holy spirit goes away, and we're left why we are suffering, in this way or that way.

Because we have limited the holy spirit, and therefore limited God in our lives.

Chloe

Finished living with Anger.

Hello there,
How are you?
I hope that you're having a nice day.

Today I  want to talk, about anger.
You've got it.
Anger, and bitterness.
Because we all have it, it came in when plan B came in from the garden of Eden.
We can read all the books under the sun, about anger.
Anger is a very real emotion that we have, we can be angry in a right way.
In righteous anger, we have times in our lives, that sometimes it beats us.
It wraps it's fingers around us and strangles us in bitterness.
You might not help it, it might just be there.
Sadly it in our family, to the point, where my dad would just get angry, and close the door and drive off, just because he didn't get his way.
He still loves us, but that anger was modeled down to him by his Dad.
It hasn't got to my brothers, but it has come to me.
To the point I can break stuff, which is sad, because someone has pushed my buttons.

I hate anger, I hate bitterness, many times I've prayed that the Lord has taken that away, and will one day come and rescue me out of the pit of anger.

I was angry, at a family member today, because the person didn't check, with if that was ok go and do it, and just done it anyway.
I was mad, man I was angry, I was angry, I was really angry, I slammed down, stuff, I closed doors, I really made a point of God, hearing me, because I was just angry.
Because this person thought it was fit to carry this thing out.
I was bitter, I was trying to do it right, and then this person came in, while I was getting on, with my day, and she came in and said "Oh I've done this.''
without thinking just did it, because it was under the care of love.
It might have been love, but to tell you the truth I was just angry, I just couldn't pray in the spirit, I couldn't see the spirit anymore, this anger was thick and it was crouching to destroy me.
It was my thing,  as much as I could see it was under control.
Now it was out of my control and into the health professionals.


See when you have something that rocks you, to your core, and you are wodnering, lord what am I going to do?
Perhaps move away from this situation, right out of it, would that be a good idea, different churches, lord?
When you wrestle, in the spirit, you really fight.

And the lord just reached down, and said ''you're angry, because you heard my voice, and now, you feel out of control. and you're angry, because it was my voice, and someone has taken that, and went to the health professionals, and you're angry, because it was under control, and now you feel like you're not, and your angry at your mum so now you've broken something  to make her know that you're angry.''
My answer was yes,
The thing is or was depending on how you see anger, was that 99% of the time the person who has made you angry, doesn't really know that you're angry.

Bitterness comes creeping in, like a toxin.

Something in my animal care days which I loved, was first aid, and if you administer first aid quickly you can save the situation, but if left, toxins can build up and can kill the animal.
That can happen, for us the toxins in bitterness, can last days, months, years.
if left, it can turn gangrene, and eventually we die inside.

How can we get better with this?

Learn to let go, you might think, ''if I let go, people will see all the cracks.''

What does letting go mean for me?

Giving it over to Christ, surrendering him every day.

We need to do that, because, the holy spirit came, and is our helper.

How do we know it was the lord and not my own voice or how do we know it was him?
We know it was him, because he knows our hearts, and he totally gets it.
He understands, us down to a tee.

Friends, you might be feeling lonely, it might complicated circumstances, it might just be hard to keep the faith, and the work of the lord is in you. you might be dry, you might be doing the mundane things.
However in those mundane things, the lord is there, you know he shows us how to serve, because he first served us.

I have a friend Steven, who when I heard in my brokenness was councilor from BTI, was OH  good, I need him.
He is also a caregiver, to a young man, I love caregivers, Steven never complains, never lets anything down, while he does house work, cooks, cleans, irons, takes him to appointments, and things, also lives with this man, and took him on his first air plane overseas, to Bali, and also holidayed with him.
He has the father heart of God,  because he knew how special it would be for Taylor to go on an air plane.

So they saved up, Steven brought tickets and took him over there.
Now if you met Steven, he probably would tell you, it wasn't anything special.
He would just sit and listen, and just silently pray.

We are God's workmanship, that is how we combat bitterness, and anger.

We all need Jesus, each and every single on of us,

It might be being a care giver, to people, who need us, rolling up your sleeves, and  being that person, we all need action in our lives.
And prayers, watching and waiting for people to come and release goodness into their lives.

And we need, prophetic words and people. to build up, people and band together, for break through.

My friend it isn't worth getting angry over small things,  I can't tell you, enough, how much anger breaks down a family.

Anger comes in and breaks a family down, relationships break down because of anger, and we can do without it.

And that is, earnest love, and care from the father, totally understands us. even if looks like nobody does.

Friend, you and I know, that it's painful,  living in anger, it's tiring, it's exhausting, you might think it's not there.


If you are really angry, just because, someone has pushed your buttons today.

Don't let it, it's not worth the withdrawal, from your emotional account.

Lets pray.

"Dear Lord,
I bring you these people who have lived, along time in their anger, and perhaps Lord, we come to you, we lift our hands up, and we come, to you and we ask you to take, this anger, and let you deal with it  we ask dear lord to reach down in your amazing grace, and be gentle and kind to you children.
We are broken, but lord we know the person,who can heal, restore, and be made clean, lord call us to be repentant, and be sorry, not to rebel in our anger.''
Amen.

Having our minds on enternity.

Hello there,
I hope that you're having a nice day.
Today I want to talk to you, about having our minds on eternity.
I was talking about  being out yesterday, and trying to make it on my own.
I realized that I needed to see new friends, not to loose the ones I've got but there's nothing wrong, but we need to get out of our friendship groups, and look around and open our eyes, and just be with Jesus.
I was talking with Jesus this morning, and he gave me a new dream, something new and exciting.
I woke up this morning like what was that? you know when all of sudden there's those light bulb moments, when it goes on?
I was listening to, a speaker from bethel, church, about, anxiety.
And he gave on the screen, a great analogy, of a balloon, each time, we do something good another puff of air goes into the balloon, until it pops.
Some of us need, our balloons popped, and of us needs more air in our balloons.

We need our minds on eternity, because if we are just living for the next moment, or the next thing to buy, what are we living for?
Just for the next ''good feeling''.
My question to you, is.
''Where is your head at or in?"
If it's not on God, we don't go to church just because we think we should go, we go because we are called to worship.
Worship, brings us closer together in spirit, in encourages us up in the spirit, it sets us free from condemnation.
Worship, means, others will know the lord, you know when you've been in the word, of God, you're just sitting in the word of God.
Its seems like you're a super hero, you get a feeling that you can pray for break through.
Every break through is, different, we need to stand up not stand down for God. What is our heart set on?
Do we just wear our Christian badges on the inside or the outside with God.
How does that play out for you?
What, is it?
If you haven't got a dream or you don't know where you head is, Jesus, is there you know.
He's there with his arms, wide open to welcome you in, Jesus, is there in your pain he's there when you don't have much to offer, perhaps you're left on your knees, with no point or you don't see a point to praise God in the storm.
I'm hungry for more of Jesus.
How blessed are we, being vessels of him?
We aren't just raised to life, we have life in us, all the time.
It's up to you, and me, to live for Jesus.
Chloe

knowing your limits.

Good evening.
I hope that you're having a nice, evening.
Today I want to talk to you, about limits.
I was out with a friend, today and it got me thinking when i out, why am I doing all this stuff, my friend wasn't really thankful.

I hadn't seen this person for a while, so I decided to make a time of it, but then I heard the holy spirit, saying ''did you ask for me help or my advice? why are you doing all this for her?" because lord it's been a long time since I last,  was with her.

See the lord knows, the plans, and his plans are always good and right, and proper, and he knows what is best for us.

I wanted my friends approval, today, of hot chocolate, and hot chips. without out a thanks.
I don't do things for thanks or gratitiude.
 I do them because I care.

The lord knows your heart, and if he said to do it, it is good, but if not well we're just doing it for self gratidude, and self worth.

Not really, going anywhere.

Maybe that's you, feeling like you're not going anywhere particularly fast.

It takes time, to grow character, and love.
Plant seeds in good soil and you will get a good harvest.
Chloe

Keeping the faith

Hi there,
How's it all going?

I went to church this morning, and this mornings sermon was about God doing something new, in our lives.

Isn't Jesus doing something new in our lives every day?
Isn't he there, constantly, when  we fall down?
Ready to save the day?
What if we're just feeling a bit off?
What if we don't have the answers?
Are we supposed to have answers, to everything?
No not everything.
Why then do we struggle?
It in the struggle, that we are being made new.

I was talking to a mother that, had a daughter go through a breakdown, and you just don't' want to think about being admitted, because you think, '' But I'm not one of those people'' I'm not, that person, going to hospital.
Naive as it sounds, that is what we both thought.
I told the doctor, that I've had a long day and I want to go back to my own mattress. to me being admitted, it just, felt like a life sentence.
I even asked mum and I would come out alive.
The brain is amazing thing, and that is why we need to be respectful of our, bodies, and the things we put in it.

You might think there's so much need, and so much needs to be done.
Yes that's right, and good thing that we are part of a team, and hasn't left us to our own devices.

Why when we were younger thought that, our parents knew everything?
We had to much respect for them, because you dad knew how to do stuff.

It's not until we get older that we find somethings, for ourselves.

We honor, them, we look up to them.

Because they know us best, and has the best of our interests at heart.

That might anoy you or it might be pleasant to read.

God only knows, what you've been through, and he knows that you will make it out the other side.

If you're here, because, you've tried everything, you believe everyone with your eyes wide open, you did what people told you to do, but it's still never enough.

Perhaps, you've had a bad day, and you're just waiting for it to be over, perhaps you think that it's been a series of bad days, and you can, wait for them to be over.
 perhaps you're reminding the broken people that it will be ok, but broken yourself.
there's love

Perhaps, you thought ''if only they knew'' but people don't know or didn't believe you.

There is love, and hope.

Perhaps you think shutting out, the door, will be your only way, to close out the others that care.
Don't close the door, on them.

My friend lost his little boy at 6 weeks, of age, and I asked what it was like.

He was very real, and said that he was angry, because someone so incoent was taken away.

More to the point he was angry, when people said, he was in heaven.
sure he is, but not a birthday goes by or a day goes by, that he probably wants him back down, he'd do anything to, see him again.

My friend if you're that person, who has reached the end of your rope and you feel like you're swinging on it.
It's ok, because, it's fun to swing.
so just keep holding on just for one more day, and the Lord will bring you through another dark lonely night.

You know those really dark nights, that you think it's dark then it's really dark, where you feel like you can't see your hand in the dark.
How dark was your darkest time?

I don't need to know, but I want you to know this.

There's no crevice that God doesn't know about.

God is always there, he's not surprised, others might be, but you're believing in a God, that hung out with the wrong crowd when he was down here on earth, he made a point of it.
I think as Christians, we don't talk about struggles, because we should be seen as perfect. about giving, how much money we should give, what to believe, how to pray, what to do when the rubber hits the road.

Are we just on the bench with this Christian life or are we rolling up our sleeves and really living it?


Jesus didn't come for the believers, he came for the people who needed him.

We might not have the answers, but we do have faith, and that faith is real.
It might be a flicker, of a flame, but with that flicker, we can do amazing things.
Jesus is there, if dark clouds come and hide the sun.

All we need to do, is call out his name, and believe.

Nothing complicated, no master 5 steps, just believe.

When we're in that sea, of anger,  or deep darkest nights where we're drowning in loneliness. or depression so dark, that you just can't believe.

Take Jesus hand, and believe.
When he died, on the cross, he was unrecognizable he also died for that situation that you're currently in.
Jesus loves you so much, that  he made a place so perfect, that he knew the pain we suffer. that he made a place without pain.

If you're left wondering what is the point of all this.
It's because, there is a point to all this madness, and that is, we have a Saviour, a present being, to guide us through our stormy days.

That is why we need to anchor on him. and trust him without out trust, we're  drifting through life with no anchor, and we  are just hoping, that we hit something hard  to steady ourselves.

Surrendering our fight, to jesus and let him fight for us, because will never be wary of it, and he always wins.

I asked my friend, one day when the battles that she had to face, and I asked what made her strong to face them.
she said surrendering each and every single one of them.

It seemed to easy, surely she had some magic 9 steps or something, but no.

each and every single day she was open to the lord, and what he was doing in that family.
why?
Because she was faithful.

See when we reach out to the lord, he reaches us first.
he doesn't hesitate.
May Jesus bless you and keep you and continue to shine down upon you and set you free from what you are going through today.

Chloe

,

Asking for wisdom.

Hello there folks.
How's your day going?
Today from the Cove there is cloud over the city, not low cloud, but it has cooled down a bit.
A boat is about to sail out, and is finished unloading,fertilizer of some description, the tugs have arrived to take it out.
Interestingly enough the boat is called ''Wisdom line'' and that is my topic for today.
Where do you get your wisdom from? Or how do you make your choices from day to day?
When I had my breakdown, I made sure that it wasn't going to ''beat me'' and get the better of me.
Hard to do some days, yes I was mentally tired, and physically tired, because of it, I couldn't get enough head rest during the day.
However, as the months went on, 4 months in, I am back to normal.
I am picking with what I do now, I used to tear down, others, thinking that I was funny, I used to enjoy doing it.
Not now, I don't do it I ask for wisdom.
If you need to seek help do it,and not think you don't need it or that is for sissys. Take small steps to, get your freedom, and you will recieve freedom.
Your parents and friends have the best interests at heart.
However I say that with caution.
Because if you're vulnerable and people like to gossip they will use  and or can your vulnerability, ask for some nice friends, as well or get in contact with people, who are there for you, like really there for you, not just wanting or waiting to pounce.
There are just some lessons I have learned  over the years.
And pray, pray hard, that the Holy Spirit, will come into your life and set you free of the things, that you need set free from.

My friend if you're in that space, where you think nothing, is going to come down, and reach you, in that small dark crevice, where you might have thought you'd slip a bit to far, you haven't.
There is always help out there, please do not suffer alone.
Chloe

September thoughts.

Hi there,
How's life going?
Today is, the 1st of September. 1st day of many days.
For me, it's a reminder that winter is over, and spring is coming, and with that, everything starts to grow.
Perhaps you're own life has been like it's survived winter, and it's coming, to it's own growth.
Perhaps it's coming to the realization, that you can make it own your own, and you're off on your own trek to see where life goes.
Mine has been here, looking over the water, and marveling at not my own win in life, but for others.
If life has hit you hard, perhaps it's not all that you'd think it was.
Hold onto hope, because everything is worth it in the end.
Don't be afraid to seek the truth because it will set you free.

I write because I love writing, I could write all day, but I can't I have to make a living, and that at the moment for me is, at a supermarket bakery.
Which I'm happy about.

Today is fathers day, not a public holiday, but a day we say thanks to our fathers.
Or for those people who are father figures in our lives.
I'm thankful to my own dad, because without his share hard work, we wouldn't have a beauitful house looking over the water, and brining me up in the right decipline.
respecting men, respecting my brothers, who will in turn be fathers themselves.
For my friends on facebook, who are men, because we girls need good men in our lives, to honour and respect.
My life is an open book, but it's also sacred, I don't open up easily to ''whoever comes along.''
I am careful.

In our family we have no secrets, sure I've had a few, but I have to tell my parents everything, I don't sneak around, my soul is too expensive to do that.

Sure I've struggled with human thoughts, I am human, I am just the same as you, with no super powers.
Have a I struggled? yes I have.
I've struggled with a dad who doesn't say where he's going, I've struggled many times trying, to see the father heart of God when for many years, my home life hasn't been flash, behind closed doors.
I've struggled with a friend with suicide, that I can't do any more apart from pray now.
If you're wondering if all your pieces will fall into place, they will, your day will come, when you don't need to struggle anymore, you don't have to continually fight.
Because; A you will get tired to keep being strong in the fight.
And B, we weren't designed, to carry more than we can carry.
So sit back, and watch all the pieces of the puzzle, still fall into place,
That's me for now.

Chloe