listening to your heart.

Hello,
How's it going?
I hope that you're somewhere nice and comfortable.
Somewhere, that you are feeling appreciative.

I want to talk about listening to your heart, and to be a careful gardener around it.
I'm not an expert on this, but I want to tell you something that of recent times, I've gone through in the light and hope that you will be careful.

If you picture, a nice garden think of the most amazing garden, that you've seen.
Perhaps it's got hedgers, around it, perhaps it's got a picket fence, around the border, with old fashioned roses and a water fall.
Perhaps it's something to behold.

And think of your heart like this.

How all very romantic, you might think.
But think of the gardeners, that work in this garden.
Do you let everyone in, or are you picky on how you open your ''gate'' up to.

This was me, and I have been burned.

I have fallen for the flattery of a person in india, who talks about marriage constantly. and it won't happen, no matter what he thinks.
How did I meet up?
by a Christian dating website, I felt lonely one night and he was there.
He has been there in the lonely times, and he knows it.
Now, there's a body of water, in the way, which I think is God telling us, that we can't be together, he's too poor to come out, and I'm not that totally in love with him, that I've  got to see him every day.
And no matter that he says, always always see the person,  in person, before you do anything.
Don't fall for flattery, no matter if he is Christian pastor or not.
You're to precious to get burnt.

No matter, how confident, you are, always be careful who you open yoruself up to.
I have now blocked said person, who just couldn't get enough of me.

I in turn, told him the things he wanted to hear, and yes that feed the fire of his love.
But we can't be together, because it would be to differcult.
My friends that is me and my thoughts.
Don't hurry love, let it come and find you, not to go out and make your own, search and rescue party, only to have someone to come and pick up the pieces.

That's me and my thoughts.
Chloe

Finding yourself in the river.

Hello there.
How's your day going?

Delirious worship band wrote a song, called ''Find me in the river.''
Abundant life sings it, and it gives people the hope to keep moving forward.

What does, finding yourself, in the river means for you?

For you is it just getting by? Surviving, and not thriving?

Fake it to you make it?

Having your prayers bounce off the wall, right back at you?

Rivers.

Rivers are peaceful, but they can be ferocious as well.

They have rapids, and still pools of water, where fish live and thrive.

Perhaps Jesus has you in that river, and you've found your place, you've found a job, that you really love, and like, and you do well.

Perhaps it's a bit more full on, than a job, perhaps your wondering why at the Lord, perhaps you're just looking up to the sky and wondering why.

Finding yourself in the river is exciting and dangerous, one of those dangerous prayers, you know the ones.

The ones to become useful for the Lord to serve him.

But dear, hedge your heart, don't be so hasty, to let everyone have a piece.


Don't give up, because things are getting hard, don't believe the lies, that you can't go on.
Just imagine, at Jesus's feet, and lay them down.
Lay them down for good, and don't pick them back up.
Blessings
Chloe.
 

There doesn't always need to be a reason.

Hi there.
I trust that you're work is going well.
Today I want to talk to you about, reasoning.
Yes, hard topic to talk about, but I trust, that you're big and brave to read it.

Reason, it's a strange word, we always going to battle with it.

We reason with our daily jobs, and we struggle with our ideas and the ideal.
What we need, at the exact time.

Jesus in the middle of it, and he gives us the time and place to heal.

Reason, again, there has to be a why in the middle of it.

Why lord all this pain?
Why Lord are others blessed and the people I pray for are blessed, and I'm struggling?

Why lord do we have such mental health, problems in our communities?
Why are the confused and lost, people, getting more lost and more confused?

Why lord is there so much pain in the world, why do little children battle with cancer?

Why Lord why?

Jesus, just why?


You know, when you're deep dark in the pits, where there doesn't seem like any light, shining down upon you? but you continue to look up?
Why is that?

Because you believe, in hope, that you're not completely hopeless.

Jesus is there in the pit, in your reasoning, in your dispear, in your tiredness.

You know, when you see someone continue to give you good work, and they do it effortlessly, and your exhausted, oh dear one, if that's you, just let others carry you.


In my own life, I have learn to serve, I serve boys at the boarding school, and the staff, and the morning tea ladies. I don't know in that morning what needs to be baked, but I do it with confidence.
Because.
A, I know that I am the only one, I do not say that with pride, but with confidence in Christ, that I can do the job.
Every day I have to come up with ideas, ones that wont' be repeated.
so the net is a good place to start.

2. it's my ministry.

to serve without complaining, I might be messy, but mess can be cleaned up.

you might think, your work doesn't count, it is amazing, you need a ministry.
as my best friend said, you need to be a service, but you also need to serve.

it might be the tea lady, or the cleaner, but without these people, our churches will be a mess, and cups won't be clean.

Everything that you do, works for the kingdom of God.

There is always a reason to serve.

I had a time in hospital last year,  i prayed for something to happen, and God gave me a breakdown.

I saw first hand mental health, I also saw alot of brokenness, I saw kids being on 24 watch, even having a shower they had to be watched, that they wouldn't harm themselves.

I also saw a lot of break through, I saw tears, but a lot of healing, I saw lies that I believed myself, and the truth.
I saw the most important thing, isn't always words said.
it's just being with someone who cries because well we just need someone to sit with, and be silent.
And I still have hospital visits, I still have hills to climb, I'm not going full force as I used to, just one step at time.

I've gone through some times, sure things aren't fair, we're never going to get fairness.
we' won't always be getting our way, life is always, changing, it's constantly on the move.

It's up to us, to see how we use our lives to enhance others.

No matter what mess you're in, if your a secret battle, or a bigger one.
 No matter if you're elated, or just playing it safe, in the hope, that nothing breaks.
My friend, I've been there, and it's dangerous,
because your always reasoning.

It's time to lay it to rest, and just be.

Put down your weapons, and just be held, stop fighting.

Chloe