Is life a Merry go round?

My year in in Timaru is coming to an end.
If someone said to me, is it all that it is expected of it what would you say?
At first, I was homesick, I told God what I felt of everything.
I left my beautiful home by the sea, garden, parents, friends to come.
I have felt lonely, and afraid.
I have found God in a way that only change can do to you.
I found out that I was incredibly bitter, and would judge people.
Not seeing their kindness.
However now, all that has blown away, like a vapor that rolls in from Caroline Bay. you can see it just holding out until the sun goes down.
I have found that my life has been like a merry go round.
The faster you go, the more risk you are of coming off.
But it's in those times that when you fly off, one, that you really think, God's got you.
What I want to write today, is, not to think about material things, not these earthly plans,
If you see runners practicing for their big race, you see them running down at the track, morning, afternoon and evening, they have a support crew, they have people around them that will encourage them on.
They have physio's medics, doctors, to keep them going strong.

We are only trusting in ourselves, and to a degree, that only goes so far.
I'm not wanting you to live life in a box, or limit your expectation.
You have your own life, to live, you're one of a kind.
And God takes that, and he gives you everything that is needed for you to live your life out to the fullest.
You are your own special kind of person.
And it's ok to take a longer journey to get to where you are wanting to go.
Don't look back, keep looking forward, the past is in the past, and God knows all the plans, from today, to tomorrow to next week, to the months that come your way.
So my question for you is, what sort of merry go round are you on?
Do you want to change it's course?
Moving, on to see how and what God does in your life, and see how you can be free from it's past.
I'm glad that I'm not living in my past, I'm glad that I've got forgiveness from God not to go back there.
See going back in the past doesn't really do anything for us, it's a closed door that will never open. it will only open if God lets us to see it, and to learn from it.
A merry go round is only fun, if you start to hop on it, and spin around. without it moving it isn't a merry go round it's another piece of equipment on a play ground.
Sometimes in life, the ones that we hurt the most are often the ones closed to us. it's not because we're greater or less than God, it's not that we're not equal to the ones around us.
it's not that we don't deserve love, or out of love, or the fact that our generation didn't know how to give it.
My life behind closed doors were very interesting, it was only going through the bible, and reading it, and fully believe in God, that I knew that in my physical life, that I knew how tight walking with God really is.
As a girl I was physically, emotionally, sexually abused.
I thought it was my fault as I had a disability, that no one really saw, I would wish to God, that if someone saw it, then, they would believe me.
I thought I was a monster, I'd start to run, run like nothing else, to try and run away from it all. God doesn't work like that.
And it takes a lot of courage, and godly friends to really get past the past.
No matter how hard it is to move forward you can, with God's strength.
Letting love move in your life, and not hate is key, to move forward, to move onto the next thing, to really see your life as an advenuture, not boxed in like your living in a cereal box.
Taking the risk to move on, is scary, you can't always see life through the fog through the voices of the past, but let me tell you, it's worth it.
You might have been severally disappointed, in the past I don't know, but I do know God has big enough hands to take all those things that have disappointed you, to make you stronger.
It's time to hop off the merry go round, and start to live life.
Live life to the it's fullest, to make good friends, and to trust God with everything that you have got.
Even if it means to walk into the past just a little bit, to get a Godly understanding, and to shake off the old coats of the past, to start to live life, not on bases of anyone telling you how to live. but to make your own journey.

Lets end this with a prayer.

Dear God, lord of all our lives.
We give you the right to work in us, to dig up old things that have held us down, that have chained us up, that have whispered into our lives, the lies of old.
We say to the past we've had enough, of going around the merry go round.
and we let you plan out your course for our lives.
No matter where it takes us.

We kneel down at the foot of the cross, where the evil things that are in us, and that have had to much power over us, we say it is finished, that the cross has the final word, and we will leave them there. not wanting them back.
no matter how comfortable it is, no matter what sort of faulse security it is.
we let them go, and we take up your way of life.
To be the ones, that live children of God, to live without shame, or condemnation. Because  this world is full of it.
We live to serve others, that are broken, that need your peace and love in their lives.
We make a stand for people who have walked the path similar to ours, and we will help them.
In Jesus name we pray.
Amen.