Being unlimited

Yesterday, I had an epiphany, I was with my friend, at a park.
And everywhere I went I saw people with special needs.
And as this is the final week of being 27 I want to make the most out of my life.
I was always wanting to grow up, I always wanted o do something, or fit in, and do whatever I could do to be normal.
Normal for me, means, that to take the knocks, the punches, and everything that life is.
You maybe like me, building up such a strong fence, to be strong, to take the knocks.
Then I saw a child no more then 8 years old, pushing his wheel chair around, and laughing, he wasn't in it, he was pushing it, and was having fun.
He wasn't limited by what people thought of him, he was smiling, and saying to his Grandfather, ''Look I can do it.'' no matter if you are in that place, where you're wondering if you can do it, you can.
The boy was happy with his afternoon, sure he has struggles, but he enjoyed it, then I saw his grandfather push him around his wheel chair around the gardens looking at the plants.
Whatever you're thinking, or going through, God is there with you, he is with you in that place, in that dark place, where you may have dark nights, where God might feel a vapour.
God is there, and he makes himself known.
If you're thinking that you're too good for God, come back to him, because his love for you is greater than anything or any other.
Sometimes it feels like I loose my Christianity, sometimes with my friends and at work, we need friends that sharpen us, and shape us, into good people.
The ones that love us, will often hurt us, and it's to Gods glory to over look an offense.
But there are times to speak up, to actually pull people into line.
The young boy in the wheel chair was pushing his chair into line, and sometimes we need to do that in our own lives, because at the end of the day, who are we fooling?
Sometimes we can fool ourselves so much that we believe in anything, we fantasize anything, until we believe it.
We need to come to a place within ourselves to forgive, to forgive ourselves, to what we have done, or what we are doing, that could harm us.
And it's a grief thing, it takes time to see the lies behind the truth, because the lies can be so thick that we believe it is the truth.
Personally at the moment, I'm struggling with my faith, with my thoughts, because often I think it's better to die than to live.
And because I know I have a disability that no one really sees, they don't believe me, they don't understand why I can't drink, not that I would enjoy it.
I just can't harm any more brain cells that are there, because my brain is always damaged, and will be on this earth.
If God said, this year, as I was driving home, if he said that the hopes you've had for this year, look like they've been lost, if he said that my lovely pet died, if I got warned that would be ok.
If I've had to be strong to save myself, at work, no matter how many times I wanted to walk out, no matter the tears, or hiding other things.

Hiding things doesn't really make it better, sometimes you've got to come out with it, sometimes you've got to tell someone that you're hurt or your feelings even if, they don't want to hear them.
My friend, if you're wondering what has life done to you, you're not alone.

It takes a lot of courage, to start to see things in perspective, think of the wheel chair, it is a device to get the little boy places, but it's also pretty restricting, but he had his legs and he saw he had limitations, has he walked around, but he walked.

Sometimes we have to stand back, and to see what sort of ''chair'' do we have in our lives.
and how do we start to push the ''chair around.'' instead of accepting it, we have to accept things, but we can also start to move it as well, we can use our greatest weakness, to glorify God.
And that is what the boy was doing, he was using his weakness, to glorify God, to enjoy it.

God sees our limits our restrictions, but we can get people around us that help us, to move in the areas we need to be healed in.
It may not be physical, but emotional, from the abuse we get, from the lives we've live, from the '' you cant's to the you cans,''

It says in the bible, that a builder that plans to build something do their home work, and the maths to see if it can be done.
To see if it can be completed.
My friend, if that's you if you're wondering if things will ever be made complete, it will.
What happens to building's that aren't completed, some property developer, has a plan, did the home work but ran out of money?
Well it goes into liquidation, to have someone who has the money to buy it, and to complete it.
Think of God, as that person, that he always works what might seem the most awful thing, that you're going through, to completion, because only he can do it.
God isn't a second hand God, he always makes something new, something just for you knowing that only you can have it and will enjoy it.
I had to laugh at my friend, she  brought some people some Christmas presents from the local second hand shop, and she asked me if I needed a new apron, and I said ''Oh yes,'' thinking it would be a nice new shop one, a kitchen one.
But it turned out to be this smiley face, bright apron, and it was very big, to the point I  was wondering if it was used for baby feeding , with button taps, I looked at it, and it had pockets.
and big thick collar straps, something my dear  friend really thought I could and would take to work,  ( my work uniform has a nice chef jacket all complete with the Larnach castle cat crest.) and a nice stiff black apron with the crest on it.
Anyway, my dear friend thought that she found a find, until  I felt something in the pocket.
a scrunched up snotty hankie!
I whipped it out and said, "I guess this came free."
I probably shouldn't have been so mean and appreciated it, but I really had to laugh.
And we did.
So today my friend, I want to encourage you that God is with you, and he is with you in the limitations, in that dark place, in that place where no one believes you, God does, and he does believe in you.
Chloe