homesickness

Today I want to tell you somethings that I'm going through.
Some of it will be raw, I'm doing this to get it all out in the open.

I've just moved down from home, to start a new course, and into a new city.
It was great for the first week, I really thought that is was it, it felt like I have found my way in life.

Then something happened, something over time perhaps has changed.

I nosed dived like a crashed plane, a happy girl, who found friends easily, was now crying all the time, for no real reason why.
I had been blessed in the past to just fit in, but not this time.

I had thoughts of moving back home, each time I drive past the arrow that says ''Dunedin,'' I just want to just leave and go, but my fear is, when I'm back home, how on earth will I get my car to come back down?

Moving away wasn't really an issue, as I looked at my knife roll, and packed up my room I had good feelings. Now, no colour here, no friends, I feel about as icy blue, as my bedroom walls.
how can someone so confident, just fall like this?

I mean people fly all around the world, they move countries all the time, and I'm only 2 and half hours, thinking that the city I'm in, is like a floating ice cap.

I'm just drifting through, hoping that the tide will take me closer to dunedin.

Dunedin, with all it's culture, where it's home, oh if you asked me what it's like.

my home is perched on a hill, gets all the sun all day, over looks the city, over looks salty water, has colour, oh so much colour.

There's a flag pole like a beacon on a light house, flying high, with flags of different countries.

Food is important, yes we are big eaters, so each meal is made with love and time.
there's no race for the kitchen.
And there's hugs, always hugs and you really know things are going to get better, so much so, you know that they are, cause you can feel it the moment you walk in.

Not this awful frozen feeling.

And adventures, oh the adventures,theres always someone to take on adventures.

And good bakeries, and coffees, and hot chocolate shops.

You can be yourself, and have people just love you just the way you are.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that even if you're really homesick, you're not alone.

It might be weeks like this, it might be months, but what I'm saying is, that yes even in the deepest parts of your body, you're missing that missing piece, all the while knowing its out there.

It will come to you, it really will.

You're not on this trail alone,  trust me you're not alone.

That's all.