The sun will come out

Hi there,
How''s your day going
I hope that it's fine, and good.
I don't know what you've been up to, but I do hope that it's a good one.

TOday I want to talk to you about soemthinh that has been on my mind, it's not the usual thing.

I want to talk to you about true happyness, think about things that made you really happy, perhaps it was finding something at an op shop, or a new shop in town, perhaps it's just going out with a friend.

Maybe it's just listening to the lord and finding out what he has in your life, when was the last time you've been completely still before him?

And my friends, the more you do, that, the more you hear the holy spirit.

It's getting close to the middle of January, my course will be starting up soon, and there's 2 more churches to go to and op shopping to do.

And 2 more cafes to visit, one restuaunt, and one that has a name that is somewhat intriguing, "The zoo keepers wife.'' or to the locals, the zoo keepers.

There's no zoo down south, so yes have to pay a visit.

But I'm off topic, again.

I was talking about happyness, and what sort of happyness, there is.

For me, it's my friends, it's those ones that are up for anything, any adventure, at any time.

We always go through ups and downs, sometimes, it's others times when you just want to hide away, and put yourself to bed.

It's complicated, to others, but sometimes, when you're hurt you just want to hide, and that is what happened, yesterday, and out of that I hurt someone because its like a ripple effect in a pond.
You drop a small stone, and you just watch it sink to the bottom, and you see the ripples go out.

Sometimes that happens in families, we're not all perfect, we're not all the same, we're feeling the same, or thinking the same.

Even thought it's nice being back at home, I am actually looking forward to my course starting, to be free and face the kitchen with new confidence.

So many of us, seem to have to many fingers on too many buttons.

We feel like we have to sort everything out, or everyone out, because they can't do it the way we want.

And it seems to be the clossest people we're living with that hurt us the most.

Cause we want them to hurt, even though we know it's wrong.

It's not a good trait, it's not good to have abuse in the home, it's not good to be controlled by others.
It makes that person even harder to live because everything is done for them.

Is this me?

Yes,

My dear friends, you are not alone, behind closed doors, feeling that the only way out is bed, to hide away.

For many years, as a young girl, barely 4 to my early 20s, I was physically, mentally emotionally abused.

I can remember being closed in the bathroom with my dad, trying to get out, but couldn't escape.

It hurts to this day to be told ''you're hard to figure out.'' it's hard when you spend all your time in your room, because that's the only place you can go, without having guilt, on you.
 Everything seems big, and eventually, that what gets you.

Every plan is thought of to make you feel better, but the damage is done.

I am honest I am hurting, I am lost.

But this i know, know the ''I am'' I know that he was there looking down, his angels were there when I went through all this.

One thing, is this, you can't make people heal, you can't put a band aid on a bleeding open wound, that everytimes you've heard'' your useless,'' flash backs happen.

You need councilling, cause it's a slient pain, it strangles you, catches you out every time, when something didn't work.

My friends you're not alone, you never will be.
Chloe