Put out your recycling.

Hi there,
How's life going?
I hope that you're good.
What's been happening?
I have been thinking about you, and I hope that you're all good.

I just want to share with you a short message today.

It comes from a sermon from a couple of Sunday's a couple of days ago.

Don't forget to put out your recycling.

What do I mean by that?
Well let me explain.

We all have recycling bins, that we put out maybe once a week or once every fortnight.

We all have in all of us, recycle bins, the things we try to save  ourselves or other people from doing.

It's ok, for you to be different, it's ok, for you to have meltdowns, and cry, and cry and cry, cause obs, something is there that makes you upset, and needs to come out.

Alot of my time, I was very upset, as a kid, anger bred every day in my family, if not everyday it would be in the weekends, someone would be angry at something, and so this was passed down to me.

It wasn't until I had some amazing counselling, that I thought hang on a minute, this isn't right, it's not normal, for people just be angry just because the sake of it.

And for me this was the norm, this was me, just plain angry.

One revelation was, that my friend told me, that it's ok to be angry, providing you deal with it.

The only thing was, that in our family, we liked holding on to it, for days, like, unwashed rubbish in recycling bins.

It was that persons fault, or this persons fault, or they didn't do it right, or not how we would want them to do. so this made me the person I am today.

Trust is massive, for me I had so many walls that I had built over time, and things were crumbling, I felt insecure, ashamed of who I am. I'd post things on facebook, and my friends would be ringing.

I'd just want them to shut up about how good there life was if I was completely honest.

World war,  9.10, 11 had just started, and I was back in my ditch.

If i was honest, I was ashamed, of myself, because I let my self become, this wreck, and what if people really see the real person I was?

what if I didn't care for my family who made me like this?
 and cared for my friends?
well that is what I did, I made abs sure, that I wasn't going to turn into my parents, I'd promise myself, that no one will ever see my kids.

I'd promise myself, not to let anger, just get in the way, of stuff, obstructing, the view of real life.

Life was in short to short to hold onto stuff, I was wanting to be free, of this.
 I was going to put out my recycling, once and for all, and when you put you your rubbish, the thing is to, leave it at the curb for the truck to take it away, it's going to be different, but you're going to be ok, because you know yourself now, you know you can do it, even without conscent of others.

Chloe