Going in the right direction

Hi there,
I hope that you're off to a really nice week.
Perhaps you've got something nice in your hand like a piece of baking, and a cup of tea.

I have had a good week, tired from having one day off work then back into it.
The boys and staff are grateful, so that's all that matters,sleep can wait.
I'm living a blessed life.
I have a home to come home to each night, I have funds to live on, a good job I enjoy, and things outside of work that I enjoy.

I caught up with a friend for a coffee yesterday, and she and her husband and her oldest son have just came back from Africa, visiting their sponsored children, in fact they went to some of their uni graduations.
Mary touched, on the fact that if we're going the right direction, we know it in our spirit that we're heading on the right path.
 A light came inside of my head, and and I had 'ah ha'' moment, I am going in the right direction, with church, ministry, and working, and ridding.

Things work out, and dear friend, if you had to leave a relationship, because, he was the wrong guy, or whatever reason, you heart is town, and there's rain on it.
Jesus is your healer.

I fell for the christain pastor, in india, because he knew what to say and when to say it, but didn't really know me, even thoguh he wanted to marry me.

I'm not there to judge his heart, that's not for me to say, but one thing is this.
Don't fall for the first person you see, or go for because you think you've got all your boxes ticked.

Self forgiveness, is an amazing thing, I felt bad for leaving him, but for me to just go to another culture, where they speak different language, to uproot me from my family, from my horse, to just transplant myself, into their culture, I had to let go and forgive myself.
I said some pretty dumb things, because at that time I was in the thralls of love.

but it wasn't love, it was lonelyness cryinng out. and he was just there.
I had to leave because it was doing my heart harm, and it wasn't a real relationship.
It was full hardy, to believe that one day he would come over to New Zealand, where he didn't have any money and was asking for sponsorship, and me believing that he would one day arrive.

I kept this up, because I didn't want a borring life, where,  pretty much outside work it's pretty sheltered. the only wild side I cling to is my ridding.

And to just give up ridding and go to india and be with a man ,who I hardly ever knew, was dangerous.

We met on a christian dating website.

I have now moved on, but those first few weeks, were aweful.
There were songs on the radio that eminted love lost, there was a song that he sent me, and it played on the radio, I just wanted to cry, because loving someone so much is to put them on the alter, and hand them back to God.
God is in it, but for now we must always, always be the head gardner of our heart.

We have to stand by ourselves and be strong, and only and only, and ONLY talk to people we have met in person online.

Self forgiveness, is to see something in ourselves and we really see it for ourselves.

I loved Vj, and I think he's an amazing brother in Christ, but loving him beyond that well that's for God.

I had to leave, because of the pressure, and the clingyness, truthfully if any man takes you away from the things that you enjoy, he's not the right man.

He claimed he knew me, from the few video calls, we did, the talks we had, but he just woulnd't leave me alone.
I found myself racing back home to see if there was a message, there were 4, and he was counting up the hours, I was away.

I found messagers, from him ''miss you honey, baby, come back.'' have you had tea, have you had lunch have you had this have you had that.
I asked if he got work done.

And he said he'd to it later.
I'm not a relationship expert, but it doesn't take long for me to come to the conclusion that we have to have space. and let me have it please.
Personal space does wonders, you know you see what sort of thing you're in, when you have space.


I have to work, earn a living, and yes ,  said person was saying "I work 2 hard, and to be careful baby honey, sweetheart." and plenty of '' I miss you's.''

It was nice to be missed, it was nice to have this attention.

And the Lord gave me this picture a real example.

I was on my horse, and there was another horse Roo that always likes my horse.
and this was said person and Me. Wilson was consinstrating, because I was on him.

and this horse came into his personal space, they had a bit of talk, then Wilson just stood until Roo just walked away.

I felt that this was the Lord saying, ''be cool, calm, and collected, but you have to walk away, he's not coming over, and to stand strong.''

Hein sight in an amazing thing, we too often through caution to the wind, and be done with it.
But brave heart, keep it.

It makes us strong, and to see the pit falls we might slip into.

Who's to say who is right or wrong, I am not a ''man basher'' I don't take delight in what I'm writing.

But truthfully, if someone is putting restrictions on you, because of a ''higher call'' it's not worth it.

Being on the altar of God is not fun, but we have to place ourselves on it, to make sure we're going in the right direction.

That we only are in tune with him, and only Jesus.
Not with someone,  who only wants us, because we make false promises, and we lead each other on.
I did that, but only because I was inocenlty doing it, because I was under his control.
A well school horse, knows when he or she is working, they know when they' are tacked up and mentally they are prepared for the work.

They don't go around acting like they aren't working, and just go off doing whatever they like.

If you watch Schooled horses to horses that have free time, they act different.
 Horses on free reign on dressage that is where you see the horse and rider together as one.

And it's beautiful  the level of trust both horse and rider, these are often, on longer strides, in a ring or yard.


We need to mentally prepare our minds for work, and focus on it, not turning to the left or to the right. but staying on ''free reign.'' connected to Christ.

Allowing him to move us in the direction we have to go.

That is the pinnacle of our faith.

That's all for now.
Chloe