Living a life worth while

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love simple things.
That is , good food, ( baking in particular,) and cats.
I have my brother down, and when I came back from work, he asked me what my dreams were.
A few days ago, he really talked to me about it, because sometimes for unknown reasons, I just can't stop crying, it's not that I am sad or depressed, I just get incredibly upset for reasons I don't know why.
So my good younger brother, asked me what is it that I just get upset about, and then he really hit on something, he said ''do you think you're relying on other people to make you happy.''
And that was from God, because I was, I was hiding from it, in texts, just to get a message back, and other ways.
I look up to him so much, but even that, couldn't be enough, then from that, we talked about, things, and probably all my life I feel like I am not good enough, I'm not a banker like my other brother, I don't write well, as my young journalist brother does, and all in all, it went on, and he was saying ''All I hear, is you're not good enough'' but how many times am I creative like you?
Then that got me thinking, how many times have we measured our own life up to others?
How many times have we lived in their shadow?
What if we take the risks of being our selves?
And taking the chance to get to know someone?
Most of us, spend heaps of time looking for that missing thing, how many of us actually find it?
I can't help but think, as we listen to the lasted gossip, and latest trends, we don't really have any substance.
How can we get back to where we've gone wrong?
That was the question of the lady at the well.
She thought that by believing in God, she wouldn't have to physically come to the well, all the time, a time in the day where people don't come to wells.
But Jesus came and he saw what she needed.
Are you trying to give up a addiction or other things, so that  you can be free from?
Addictions are hard, they sometimes feel like you're only friend, we think we need a treat, so we turn to them.
God said to that lady, Go and be free. he didn't say ''Oh you've slipped again, or you just can't do it.'' he took her in and saw what she was, and set her free.
Do you need that?
I did, I needed to see for myself, what my brother saw, but I couldn't, I was blinded by the way I was, the thing I wanted to do, I just couldn't.
It sounds cliche, but life is never going to be done in an ordered fashion, it's never going to be moulded or boxed, in tidy little bows ready for you unwrap.
It takes work and determination.
If we're always looking at the mess and being Martha's we're never really going to be Mary's.
Well that's all I have today, take hold of you're good times, go with God and let him see what you are, and see for yourself you really can be free to be yourself.
Chloe